By Teresa Lowry

It’s that time of year again when our thoughts turn to gratitude and thanksgiving. From the end of November until New Year’s Day many of us become more reflective taking stock and counting our blessings. We may periodically think or say what we are grateful for, but for many of us it is not a daily routine. Let’s use the momentum of this season to note and express gratitude 365 days a year.

Building and maintaining a robust daily gratitude practice can result in a happier outlook on life. A gratitude practice is recommended for everyone. It is essential for successful leaders. You change your life when you change something you do daily. The secret of your success will be found in your daily routine.

Science Says

There is certainly ample antidotal evidence that a regular gratitude practice can have a positive impact on emotional composition. Some would describe it as a form of self-care. World religions and many spiritual paths extoll the virtue of living in a state of gratitude. Now a growing body of research links a regular gratitude practice to better sleep, greater happiness and even lower blood pressure. Says Amie Gordon, PhD, a research scientist at the University of California, San Francisco “Gratitude is a powerful way to boost well-being”. A 2015 study in the Journal of Health Psychology found improved sleep quality for participants after two weeks of keeping a gratitude diary. Other benefits include improved self-control and greater relationship harmony and feelings of happiness.

Building a Gratitude Practice

To develop and maintain a gratitude practice set a designated time and place each day. You are intentionally identifying things you are grateful for and noting them. I am old school and enjoy writing my gratitude list out longhand in a journal. You could use a notebook or binder paper it doesn’t have to be fancy. If you want to journal electronically go for it. This will be a daily entry and each entry should be dated. Make five to ten gratitude notations. People, places, things, nature, animals, events, experiences, the potential is limitless. If you get stuck start with the basics – I am grateful for my breath.

Gratitude 2.0

Once you get started there are additional questions you can ask yourself. For example, include something you did, some action you took where you can give yourself appreciation. Yes, you can be grateful for you. Use all your senses. Touch, smell, sound, taste. Also ensure that at least one of the grateful notations is about a challenge, struggle, loss, hurt or pain. Look deeply for the good in something that was difficult at the time but brought a positive outcome or great lesson for you. Pick one of the items of gratitude and purposefully express it to the person involved.

Louis Armstrong Singing “What a Wonderful World”

I am able to attest personally to the power of a daily gratitude practice. I have been making my daily lists for over twenty years. This is a powerful and positive way for me to start each day. There are many repeat notations in my journals. One you will see more than once is hearing Louis Armstrong sing “What a Wonderful World”. No matter where on the planet I am if that song comes on the radio or through a sound system and I hear it I smile and melt. So many of you reading this will have been on my list many times. I am so very very grateful for you my family, friends, my Aegis Learning Team, Honey Badger Team, Bootcamp Team, colleagues and customers. Thank you all for the many ways you enrich my life.

By Teresa Lowry

Research tells us one of the top reasons people leave the workplace is they don’t like their boss. Your leader is the most influential person in the organization to you and the people on your team. People don’t usually leave their job for more money. They leave when the boss is disengaged and disconnected. They leave because they have a rotten boss.

My Aegis Learning colleague Polly Walker recently wrote a great article entitled “7 Deadly Signs of a Rotten Boss”. This prompted me to reflect on my early days as a boss. Having been promoted due to technical expertise and not emotional intelligence I certainly had my share of cringe worthy moments. Some of my rotten boss behaviors are listed below. I take comfort now in Maya Angelou’s words “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better I do better.”

OPEN DOOR POLICY IS ENOUGH

There I was in the big corner office adorned with floor to ceiling windows with an administrative assistant acting as guardian at the gate. My door to her adjacent space was open. I could say I had an open-door policy and tell people if they wanted to see me they could come to my office. The onus was on the members of my team. If they had a question or wanted to see me, they knew where to find me.

Fact: Leadership requires us to make frequent, personal contact with team members a priority. Get out of the office and walk around your organization.

WE ARE NOT HERE TO SOCIALIZE OR HAVE FUN

No need to attend social events or be social. This is work. Serious business. I’ll donate money for your parties, sign birthday and retirement cards, maybe send an email to acknowledge your milestone but don’t expect me to attend your parties and socialize because I am busy working. I am a stoic, private person with no desire to tell the people who work for me anything about me or my private life. Nor do I need to know about your personal life. Any need to socialize should be addressed outside of work.

Fact: Leadership requires relationship depth with team members. Successful organizations work hard and have fun. Create an environment where social interaction is valued and encouraged.

A PAYCHECK IS ALL THE REWARD YOU NEED

What is all the fuss about giving praise and positive feedback to people for doing a job they are getting paid to do? You get a paycheck, benefits, your job is stable. What more do you need? Feedback is provided in your yearly evaluation. If you don’t hear from me it means you are doing a good job.

Fact: Pay provided to team members compensates for the lowest minimum requirement of performance and behavior. Leaders can unlock discretionary effort through relationship depth and consistent positive feedback. When delivering positive feedback be direct and insure your tone is upbeat and positive.

TOUGHEN UP

A rotten boss expects you to accept and tolerate moods swings. Team members should not expect predictability. With great responsibility and the weight of the organization on my shoulders I am entitled to be sullen, serious and unapproachable depending on my emotional set point each day. Besides, this keeps people guessing and on their toes. I don’t want them to become too complacent or comfortable. Managing by fear is a good thing and promotes respect.

Fact: Successful leaders have good self-awareness and self-management. Emotional intelligence is far more predictive of workplace success than intellectual capacity. Consistency in behavior and approach is key in providing your team with a leader who is easy to follow. Solicit feedback from team members by asking “What am I projecting?”

One of the reasons I know what we teach at Aegis Learning works is because I learned the hard way what does not work. The rotten boss behaviors described above resulted in disengaged team members and low morale. Thankfully, you dear reader, now know better and can avoid ever being a rotten boss. Lead Well my friends.