By Tim Schneider

For the past 25 plus years, I have been accused of making up words that fit a particular phenomenon or situation.

Guilty as charged.  Not even remotely sorry.

Possiblitarian (sees the possibility in everything) is my favorite.  Nocturnalist (late worker).  Clouder (someone who muddies every issue with volumes of crud).  Fauxcoach (fake helper).  Hypercontrarianism (opposes everything/all the time).  Employoration (decorative employee that contributes little but has a great looking title/office).  Strategery (borrowed from President G. W. Bush).  Painfully, those closest to me have to learn these strange combinations and be on the lookout to call out new ones.

Recently, I have had the opportunity to talk with and observe several people who are entrenched in survival mode.  They work every day.  They pay their bills.  They move from Monday to Friday in a kind of zombie-like precision of sameness.  Counting days until retirement vesting.  They are surviving. 

Don’t get me wrong; surviving is better than the alternative, but it is certainly not a great place to hangout for an extended period.  Humans are built for more than just survival and sameness.  We are wired for much, much greater things.

Which brings us to a new word:  Thrival. 

Thrival is creating an environment in which we are thriving or prepared to thrive.  Thriving is utilizing all of our capabilities, abilities, talents and emotion in doing something we want to do, not have to do.  We will always have “must dos” but directing them to a goal or desire will convert them into a part of thriving and not merely surviving.

Thrival is also a mindset.  Mindset are complex sets of beliefs, thoughts and attitudes that have a big impact on behavior.  A positive mindset will eliminate many self-defeating behaviors and create a path for desired outcomes.  They are also the antidote for negative cognitive biases.

So the real challenge is how to move from survival to thrival.  This part is going to take a little work and dedication, but it is highly doable and all of us can accomplish these steps:

1. Purpose

What do you want to do?  What makes you happy?  What are you good at?  What really inspires you and lights an internal fire in you?  Where is your passion?  What do you want to be when you grow up?

These are the questions to establish purpose.  Purpose is the target of thrival.  Ultimate thriving is the ability to live your purpose.  Once a purpose is established and visualized, you are well on your way to having a thrival mindset.

Dare to be great.  Dare to do what you want to do.  Dare to live the life you deserve and have dreamed about.  Dare to become the awesome human you are designed to be. 

2. Visualize and Mind-Manage

The most difficult part of this process is to manage your own thoughts throughout this process.  The “can’ts”, “won’ts”, “nevers” and even worse will try to creep back into your mind.  These little creeps must be drowned out immediately and aggressively.  See your dream with clarity and order your self-talk to be supportive and encouraging.

3. Alignment

A tougher analysis is looking at your daily activities and see how many align directly with your purpose.  Not all will but most should eventually.  The process of aligning activity with your purpose may also require that you set aside blocks of time to work towards your purpose and eliminate some activities that don’t connect and never will.  Explore options of some required tasks (outsourcing, delegating).  Create a chart of activities and draw lines to your purpose/thrival statement.

4. Execution and Support

Now get to it.  Create a date certain and commit to living a life of thrival and not just surviving. 

You will also want to take a critical look at the people around us.  Make sure they are encouragers and not naysayers.  Yes, to live a life of thrival, your tribe may have to change a bit.

Best wishes on becoming a thrivalist (oh cool, another new word) and I look forward to hearing about your ongoing success.

By Tim Schneider

When I look away, the homeless man is still living under the bridge.

When I look away, my co-worker is still being bullied and harassed.

When I look away, the trash on the ground is still there.

When I look away, the stray dog is still running through my neighborhood,

When I look away, my child is still upset and frustrated with something that happened in school.

When I look away, the lady is still struggling to load her groceries into her car.

When I look away, children still need foster and adopting families in my community.

When I look away, a team member is feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

Looking away has become a great coping mechanism and where many people find temporary relief.  By not consciously and cognitively acknowledging an issue exists, we find a certain degree of peace and are able to go on about our day and our lives.

The problem with this tactile denial is that it becomes temporary at best and really nothing more than a little Band-Aid to make ourselves feel better for the moment.  To acknowledge the issue causes discomfort.  To actually do something about the issue causes a great deal of discomfort.

The case we will make to get out of denial and into action is going to come in multiple parts.  First, and most tangible, is the personalization of the issue.  What if, and please, would never wish this on anyone, you inserted yourself into any of the above examples?  It was your dog that got loose.  It was you that was being harassed at work.  It was you feeling frustrated at work.  It was you that suffered catastrophic financial loss and you now are without a home.  Would you want someone to notice, and even more, would you want someone to help?  Of course, you would.  I would.  We all would. 

The deeper part of moving from denial into acceptance and then action is about you and your mental and emotional composition.  The regular deniers are harming their mental and emotional health by sweeping issues away and, in some cases, even pretending they don’t exist.  This creates a pretty significant drag on your emotional composition and intelligence by refusing yourself the need to sense and feel the issue.  You cannot experience true happiness and joy without experiencing, or in this case empathizing, the emotional pains. 

Quite bluntly, those that consistently look away will lack the empathy needed to build strong relationships, lead others or operate successfully in any type of team or community environment.  Empathy is the ability to see, feel and sense the emotions of others and looking away, dampens this incredibly important piece of emotional intelligence.

Conversely, when we do acknowledge an issue and then get out of our own way and do something about it, the feeling of satisfaction is tremendous.  This feeling, when regular and replicated will assist you in building confidence, resilience, empathy and open the path of your emotional composition to feel a consistent stream of more positive emotions.  Again bluntly, helpers feel better and are much better people.

A very simple approach to this looking away phenomenon would be:

1. Acknowledge the Issue Exists

Say it out loud.  Point to it and mentally process it is an issue.

2. Seek Inspiration

There are loads of sources of inspiring stories, videos and pictures of one person choosing to make a difference and helping the community.

3. Personalize

Put yourself or a close family member/friend in the narrative.  Instead of a generic stranger, it is now about you or someone you care about deeply.

4. Craft a Plan

Commit to a course of action to how to commit some time or resources to helping the issue you identified.  Don’t simply react but have a plan.  Planning will also help you curb your fears and nervousness about helping.

5. Execute and Reflect

Do what you have committed to do and then spend some time reflecting, and even journaling how you feel and the impact of your actions.