The Kindness of Strangers

By Tim Schneider

My last work trip was extraordinary. Not because of the work as that was routine. The customers were great, and all were repeat engagements. The truly extraordinary part comes from the kindness of total strangers during this trip.

I am not blessed with a large family, nor do I have a large circle of close friends. Although I know thousands of people, my inner circle can be counted on one hand. They are a cherished group, but I do not see or talk to them every day.

I recently returned from two full weeks on the road. My lone return home was four hours to change suitcases and work bags. In these stretches of time, it is easy to develop some loneliness and to feel isolated. It is me, in a strange city, with a group of customers that are largely unfamiliar to me, and none of the comforts of home. Unfamiliar food choices, strange beds, challenges in navigating, and not feeling particularly comfortable at any stop.

What made this trip different, starting with the first flight, was the kindness heaped upon me by total strangers. First there was the Southwest flight attendant that carefully prepared my coffee (two creams, two sugars) and provided a refill on the redeye to Minneapolis. The service standard for Southwest is to provide the cream and sugar packages and she mixed it with care and checked to see if it was to my liking. The Marriott front desk person who fetched a luggage cart and hauled my training materials up to my room at midnight, while working alone, was the next random kindness.

Over the course of the next several days and multiple cities, this repeated many times. The two bartenders at the neighborhood tavern who not only served a great dinner but checked in often with their solo diner. The waitress at the same establishment that looked far and wide for a glass of milk. The Marriott team member who opened the kitchen at 11:30pm to find her craving guest some milk before bed. The convenience store clerk who put an free treat in my bag was a very nice surprise.

Now before you jaded souls label all of this as nothing more than providing great customer service, I would offer that all of these were well beyond standards of great service and moved into genuine human kindness. The recognition of the need for compassion and delivering it in spades. I would also offer my encounter, while lost in the skyway, with an attorney who not only provided directions, but walked me to my lunch destination and engaged in some great conversation about commercial real estate. Or consider the homeless man who took great pleasure in holding the door for me on multiple occasions while downtown. He wouldn’t accept anything except appreciation and a smile. Pure kindness from both men.

For me, the lessons were clear and resonating. First, I must always be open to receiving kindness from the outside world and from people I don’t know. We often traverse life with blinders that ignore those acts of kindness directed our way and only truly experience it when it comes from our family or friends.  As I learn to be more open to receiving kindness, more will come my way.

The second lesson was to always appreciate those acts of kindness and validate their efforts. They knew with my words, my tone, and the look in my eyes, that I appreciated their kindness and what they did for me. In some cases, I told them why I appreciated them so much.

The final and most powerful lesson for me, and hopefully you will be inspired to do the same, was to continue the circle of kindness to strangers I encounter. I don’t have the slightest idea what others are going through and I may be the only kind and polite word offered to them that day. I am committed to brightening as many lives as possible with the power of kindness.

Kindness, pass it along, and be grateful when it comes your way.