Leading Edge: Personal EQ Skills-Confidence

No

Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

By Kelley Reynolds

“Oh, these are for an ideal or perfect workplace.”  During a recent facilitation, a well-established and experienced leader participant made that comment to me.   The comment made was to imply that the concept we discussed during our session would not work at their particular place of employment, only in a utopian organization.  Were these comments made to shirk responsibility?  No, I do not think so.  This person was just processing.  However, the comment made me think.

Will we ever work at an ideal or perfect workplace? No.  

Why?  Because our workplaces are owned and led by human beings; imperfect and flawed human beings.  They only hire humans. Then we only promote those same imperfect and flawed humans into leadership positions. 

Does this mean we are destined to toil and suffer under tyrannical bosses eight hours a day, five days a week?  No!

As leaders, because our workplace is not ideal, we do not work in an ideal office, is this an excuse for us to not give our best to our teams? No.

Though none of us are without challenges, by the time we promote into leadership, each of has an idea of what good leadership looks and feels like.  Or, we have experienced poor (management) leadership and are determined to do better.

Once promoted, do good leadership skills enter our brains through osmosis, during our sleep?  No.  They require genuine effort.  It is our impetus to seek training and classes. Obtaining information and education costs us time and money.  After you have attended a class and earned a certificate, is that enough? No.

This is where you must be candid with yourself.  This takes courage.  You have to take a good hard look at yourself and prepare for what you will see.  Are you exemplifying your best leadership skills? Have you ceased your poor management habits? When you ask yourself, though you might know the right answer, are you being honest with yourself?

Knowing that there are areas where you can improve, is that enough?  No. Now comes the real effort; implementing what we have learned into action.  Do you listen enough? Do your emotions match your task? Are you being a good role model?  Do you offer praise and encouragement abundantly? Wherever you answer no, then take action and fix it!

So, you have worked to make those improvements, are you done?  No.  Because situations are dynamic.  Needs change.  People grow.  Organizations advance.   In leadership, you will have to continue to adapt and grow with the needs of your teams and to the goals of the organization.

Once you have modified your leadership behaviors, does that mean you are done?  Have you created the Utopian organization? No, of course not.  However, you are making improvements.  You are making a difference.  Your team will notice the change in your behavior.  They will notice that coming into the office is more pleasant.  They will appreciate the strengthened relationships; time you share with them; the reasonable and reliable expectations you have set for them. 

Is this perfect? No.  Did you make it better? Yes.

Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

Kelley’s optimistic outlook on life guides her belief that change is possible!

Her easy going instruction style mixed with a dry wit make her an entertaining educator. She has instructed professionals throughout the nation as well as internationally. Kelley has earned a Master of Business Administration and possesses a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, both from University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

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Leading Edge: Personal Skills of Emotional Intelligence

Change

Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

By Kelley Reynolds

We are right here, right now.  This is it. 

June 2020 was never going to look like June 2019.  Or June 2018.  Or 2010. Never.  Change was going to occur.  We are not able stop change any more than we can stop time.

Yes, the last several months shifted the change gear into overdrive.  I understand, you suffered losses.  To some extent, all of us have.  The loss may have been income, employment, time, joy or loved ones.  Some of us lost much more than others. The fact remains, this is where we are.

Sitting around blaming this politician for reacting slowly or that politician for overreacting simply keeps us stuck somewhere between denial and anger.  These are just distractions and what does any of that matter now? Pontificating and denigrating may make you feel powerful.  However, lingering here is wasting more time, playing the victim, and giving away your power.  When instead you could be doing. 

Denial and anger are stages of grieving. You need to mourn your losses.  Grieve while living. Now is the time for action; not lamenting and lambasting.

Leaders are not powerless victims.  We are people of action.

The next stage of grief is acceptance.  You get there through effort and initiative.  The future was not going to look like what you thought it was going to, but it was not going to anyway.  The future may now appear messy and the ride bumpy and painful.  You have no choice but to buckle up, hold on and keep going.  Move forward and even take advantage of the changes. Life was always going to happen. The road was going to have dips and bumps and potholes, but man, check out the view!

As leaders, whether that is your title or informal position within your organization or role in your family, it is time for you to implement your plan.  If you do not have one, the time to create one is now.  People, your team, your family are looking to you, as a role model, as a beacon of hope.  They are looking to you to lead them through the uncertainty and build confidence for tomorrow.

It is a new day.  It is not going to be business as usual.  You do not have to do things like you always did. That is the beauty of it. You get to reinvent or renovate and innovate.

This may challenge you like never before.  You may have to dig deeper.  That is okay.  Dig deep. Stressors can also have positive effects. You will find what you need. It is within you.  Use your good leadership skills to enhance your confidence. Remind yourself of previous problems you overcame. Envision your successes. Surround yourself with people who are realistic and positive. Change the dialog.  Ask different questions. Where is the opportunity? Where can I create one? What do I do well? How do I move forward? Who can help navigate? What will the future look like?

You will lead your team during and through this difficulty.  You will get through this.  Because that is the only option you have!  Now, let’s get to it.

Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

Kelley’s optimistic outlook on life guides her belief that change is possible!

Her easy going instruction style mixed with a dry wit make her an entertaining educator. She has instructed professionals throughout the nation as well as internationally. Kelley has earned a Master of Business Administration and possesses a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, both from University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

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Focus on Coaching: Overcoming Positive Feedback Obstacles

By Matt Zobrist

The first and most powerful type of coaching is positive feedback. Positive feedback consists of praise, appreciation, and acknowledgment given when performance or behaviors meet or exceed standard. When done correctly, positive feedback will easily get team members to replicate good performance, unlock their discretionary effort and routinely exceed standards. Some leaders struggle to provide a sufficient quantity and quality of positive feedback. Here are six ways to overcome the most common obstacles (rationalizations) the keep us from providing positive feedback.

  1. Idea that pay for work is sufficient —this is an outdated mind-set. Further, it is an excuse used by a leader who does not want (or is afraid) to praise and appreciate. Pay is the compensation an organization provides for the lowest level of acceptable performance. We need to realize the most people want more from a job than simply a paycheck. A paycheck does not buy a team member’s engagement or motivation to provide effort beyond the minimum. Today’s workforce is going to be more productive when they feel appreciated, are recognized for their work, and are engaged. More importantly, we need to stop rationalizing our failure to praise because they are getting paid.
  1. Just doing their job doesn’t deserve praise – Some bosses say that no one deserves to be praised for just doing his or her job. This is false, and just like the first obstacle, without praise and appreciation, team members rarely do more than required. Additionally, team members who are performing to standard are just as deserving of praise as those who excel. Praise and appreciation are the fundamental steps to getting them to move their needle towards (eventually) performing above standard. If you don’t praise for standard performance, you will not be able to praise for higher performance because your team won’t ever get there. They will be very unlikely to even try to do anything but the minimum. You will never be able to unlock their discretionary effort.
  1. I do not hear it from my leader – First, you should never rationalize your own behavior on account of others. Second, your responsibility is to your team. One of my favorite quotes by Simon Sinek is “Be the leaders you wish you had.” It is true that it is hard to provide positive feedback when you are not getting any. However, the reality is that your team deserves to be recognized and appreciated by you (their leader), regardless if you are receiving it from yours. Don’t deprive them of the positive feedback they so desperately deserve, simply because you are not getting it. PRO TIP: If you consistently and sincerely provide positive feedback to your team, eventually, they will provide it back to you.
  1. They don’t want to hear it – Human beings all have ego needs (see Maslow) and everyone likes to be told when they have done something good. Additionally, when that praise comes from someone in authority (and hopefully respected) it has more meaning. Even those who say they are “just doing their job” or there is “no need” for compliments, are just raising false flags. This is often a result of the cultural stigma of not “tooting one’s own horn.” Every they do something worthy of praise, something you (your organization) wants replicated – Tell them! If they object, tell them again. PRO TIP: Overcome the “I don’t need recognition” objection by shifting the burden of feigned embarrassment to yourself, by saying, “I need you to know, that I appreciate/recognize/praise that.”
  1. They know, I don’t have to tell them – This excuse assumes (wrongly) two things: First, that a team member knows when their performance is appreciated and praiseworthy; and second, that a team member’s internal self-talk is sufficient that when they do something well, they automatically know and will continue the behavior. In reality, team members are starving to know where they stand with their boss and if they are doing things right. None of your team members has the ability to read your mind, so the only way they can know is by you telling them. PRO TIP: It is not just about them knowing, but the fact that their leader knows and recognizes it!
  1. I’m too busy – This is probably the lamest, yet most frequently cited excuse for failing to provide positive (or any) feedback. The reason I say that is two-fold: First, if it was important to you, you would make time for it. If we genuinely want our team members’ performance to be excellent then we must make providing positive feedback a priority! When it is important, you will make the time for it. Second, it is usually applied retroactively. That is, we tend to only recognize the lack of it AFTER we failed to provide it. We rationalize this failure by noting we just did not have time. Because the benefits of positive feedback are so valuable, we must make it a priority. It must be important do us, great leaders do this as a matter of habit. PRO TIP: If it is difficult to carve time out of your busy schedule to provide positive feedback then put sometime on your daily agenda (say 15-20 minutes at the end of the day) to just recall and write down things you team members did that were noteworthy. Also put 15-20 minutes on your morning schedule to follow up on that list the next day. Carry it around with you and mark off the tasks as you provide the feedback. Soon you will find that you won’t be waiting until the end of the day and you will be providing positive feedback in a timely manner every day.

Positive Feedback is the bread and butter of a good leader. It is the linchpin to unlocking an individual’s discretionary effort and getting high level performance from your team. Consistently providing positive feedback will also build the loyalty and trust, which high-functioning teams require to succeed.

Matt Zobrist from Aegis Learning

Matt Zobrist is an energetic and dynamic facilitator, coach, presenter and speaker with Aegis Learning, LLC.