By Kelley Reynolds

In your career, have you ever been faced with a situation where you think you possess enough experience to handle it?  You’ve taken classes and continued your education to be ready when the opportunity presents? Where you run, excitedly and headlong into it; a defining moment of your career?  Only to find yourself ill-prepared in uncharted waters.

Some time ago, early in my career, I found myself in such a situation.

The opportunity was a business social event.  One where you are not “on the clock” but a work-event, nonetheless.

The invitation was for a business dinner.  Attending, was my boss and a C Suite level executive from a well-known organization.  I was over the moon to be invited. Yes, I am going to be sitting at the table!

An important tidbit, I’ve never been to cotillion.  Honestly, my friends and I were more red-solo cup people. Although I have received no professional training on etiquette, I have performed some research on Google.  I am confident I can navigate a dinner table place setting. Work from the outside in.  Any doubt, just watch what other people are doing, right? Easy!

A few evenings later, I found myself at a high-end restaurant which boasts a world recognized name, and I do not mean McDonalds.  They serve Japanese food.

One look at the place setting and my concerns over salad forks and which bread plate is mine were gone.  I quickly glanced around the other tables at the restaurant.  All I saw were chopsticks and this was a brand-new set of problems for which I am unprepared.

After observing my dining companion’s ritual of separating and sanding the chopsticks, I mimicked their actions.  I can do this! 

The first course, the chef, thankfully, sliced the lettuce into small pieces.  Without attracting attention to myself, using the chopsticks to pick, slide and stab, I was able to successful eat this course.  I’ve got this!

Meanwhile, the relationship strengthened as the conversation easily meandered from hometown to family to strategic goals.

Because of certain dietary needs, what was served to me next was different than my companions.  It contained olives.  Okay, it was a dirty martini.  But at this point, it really was a need! 

Grateful to be holding something other than the chopsticks, I swirled the olive skewer in the drink.  Feeling sure of myself, I popped the tip of skewer into my mouth and gracefully slid one of the olives from the stick. Yep, I am sitting with the big boys!

With the first bite I realized in horror, the olive contained the entire pit.  According to the rules of etiquette, you use your fork to properly remove the pit from your mouth.  I did not have a fork and did not think with my 20 minutes of experience I had mastered my chopstick technique to use them for this job.

While my boss and C Suite were discussing multi-million-dollar business strategies, I contemplated available discreet options for removing the pit in my mouth. A plan was formulated.  Listening to the tone and cadence of their conversation, timing for just the right moment, I swiftly performed the napkin trick.  Crisis averted!  I’ve so got this!

A course or two later, I carefully used my napkin, aware it concealed the pit.  With the napkin in my lap, I touched the edges and could no longer find the pit. It must have leapt to its death under the table! Problem solved!

The remainder of the meal was incident free.  We thanked the chef for his inspired culinary artistry. The three of us left the restaurant and walked through the casino to leave.  At the exit, we shook hands and said our goodbyes. 

The evening was incredible. We discussed tactics for rebranding, organizational restructuring and opportunities to increase market share.  I had just successfully navigated the high-powered business dinner!! Wahoo! Fist bump!

As I walked away, I felt something.  On the back of my pants. A wet spot with an olive pit embedded.  At that moment, there was nothing else for me to do but hold my head high and wear it with pride!

As leaders, we will be faced with new challenges. Our previous successes will help guide us.  However, some missions will not go as planned.  To adapt to changing landscape, expanding our knowledge base is critical. Embrace growth. Take every opportunity to learn something new.  We do not know what opportunities lie ahead of us or what tools we will need. It is better to be prepared than allow our leadership skills to end up in the pits!

By Kelley Reynolds

THOSE People

In the hushed corners of the office cubicles, we can hear the whispers of our co-workers talk about a that certain group. Those people.

The Millennials!!!

Here is some information you might not know: They are our kids.  WE raised them.  They didn’t hatch or arrive on earth at age 21.  Whatever failings, perceived deficiencies and actual differences they have are on us!  We wanted to give them everything; to make up for we did not have in our own childhoods.  While growing up, we provided for them so well that they did not need to get a high school job.  We protected them from the childhood hurts and disappointments like not being a good enough athlete to make the team.  Everyone got a trophy.

We succeeded. We focused on protection and self-esteem.  Now we work with these team members whom as parents, we failed to prepare for the “real world” as we knew it.

To be sure, no one reading this is that parent.  It was everyone else!

Guess what?  The “real world” as we knew it, changed. 

We told them to go to college and now they are saddled with student loans that rival a mortgage.  A significant percentage of them didn’t get their first job until age 20! They are marrying later in life than we did.  Moving out on their own and starting families later than us, too. They are not buying homes at the age or rate we did. This generation is the first whose life expectancy will be shorter than their parents’. They have fewer social interactions. Social interaction is important factor to a long healthy life!

We can no longer compare their goals and benchmarks against our life achievement timelines. “When I was your age,” is not fair and is like comparing Pong to an online multiplayer game like World of Warcraft. (Google it.)

They may not be loyal to an employer.  Why would they? The days of graduating high school and getting the job at the local plant, mine or mill and working until retirement with a pension are all but gone.  The plant, mine or mill is likely gone too.  During the economic collapse, they observed us lose our jobs when our employers had to downsize or close.  They had to move, change schools when we lost our homes. They heard us when we asked ourselves, “What do we do now?” when our safety nets, the value of our retirement accounts and homes’ equity plummeted to next to nothing. They learned from what happened to us.  The message was clear: Loyalty to an employer guarantees nothing.

Plus, now to make up for what we lost in the previous decade, we are remaining in the workforce longer.  They do not have the career growth opportunities because we are still occupying the window offices.  Why would they not seek another job that may offer fulfillment since they neither trust nor see growth opportunity in their current workplace?

We cannot change the past.  They are here with us in the workforce. The company needs good people and we raised good people.  As leaders and employers, we need them!  Moving forward is the expectation and responsibility the organization has entrusted to us.

So, let us move forward.  In order to do that, we must utilize our best leadership skills.  We need to modify some of our expectations of them.  They want a job that is fulfilling and offers opportunity.  It is critical that we create a satisfying and social working environment. They need us to inspire and engage them.  They crave positive feedback from us. We can continue and increase the amount we provide of it. When we leave, they have to be prepared to move into our offices.  We are the ones to prepare them. This is natural for us because all we have ever wanted is for our kids to succeed!