Symptoms Telling Us We Need Heart Work
“The only thing greater than the power of the mind is the courage of the heart” John Nash
Our world gives us plenty of clues when it is necessary and time to work on unlocking emotional and heart power. Some of those clues are right-between-the-eyes blunt force and some are a bit subtler. Examine these and see where you are at and see if there is indeed work to be done to unlock your heart.
• Stuck in a low-level motivation (more on that later in this section)
• Operating from fears (more on that as well)
• Anxiety and edginess
• Frequent use of sarcasm or snarky comments
• Need to be the center of attention often or always
• Lack of focus or persistence with tasks and projects
• Lack of physical energy or a drained feeling
• Avoidance of conflict
• Strained relationships at work or in your personal life
• Procrastination and avoidance
• Reluctance to or fighting of change
• Inability to sustain the use of new skills or approaches
• Low general demeanor or surliness towards work and people at work
• Stressed out
• Negativity and pessimism for the future
• Poor, snappy or edgy verbal tone
• Dour and sour facial expressions
• Lack of genuine human empathy
• Overly judgmental of others
• Isolation from others or activities you enjoy
• Blaming others for challenges and failures
There is also a need to look at the recurring patterns in your life. Things like these point to a need to tap into the energy of your heart and emotions:
• Repeated failures in business or bouncing from one career path to another frequently
• Easily disenfranchised with organizations and people
• Novelty of new things wears off quickly
• Complaints from team members that have similar themes
• Trying to change others to adapt to you
• Trail of relationship casualty and failed interpersonal relationships
None of these are devastating by themselves and we all certainly spend time in these spots from time to time. The one thing to watch for is frequent occurrences of these symptoms and how long they last. When they occur regularly, it is time to unlock the power of your heart.
Motivationally Stuck
Dr. Abraham Maslow’s groundbreaking and baseline work on human motivation describes five levels of needs. This Hierarchy of Needs demonstrated that lower level needs must be satisfied first before higher tier needs can be met. As a person moves up the pyramid of needs, their motivation increases until they reach self-actualization. This stage is the highest level of motivation and all lower level needs, physiological, security, social, and self-esteem are being met. Quite simply, the more needs are being met, the higher the motivation until pinnacle is achieved.
So, what happens when someone is stuck in a lower level plateau and doesn’t rise? Their motivation levels cap off at that level as well. Think of this example:
A person is constantly straining against their resources to make ends meet. There is consistent worry and pessimism about the ability to pay bills and ever live in abundance or have discretionary spending ability.
In this example, being motivationally stuck in physiological needs will have a dramatic impact on this person’s ability to achieve more in life. When constantly worrying about money, opportunity will be passed by, relationships will be strained, self-esteem will suffer and the heart of this person will become tainted on money. Their brain will follow suit and this person will openly obsess about money, accumulation of things, and savings.
One example that we tend to hear a great deal in organizations related to being stuck on security needs:
Someone is always talking about the number of years until the retirement account will pay them what they think they need to survive in their senior years. Rather than looking forward to being able to make a difference, they are counting down to when the retirement savings will allow them some mystical security.
This stuck point can be devastating to effectiveness and has a significant adverse impact on motivations and the desire to change, move forward and thrive. This motivational stuck is all about just surviving another day, week, month or year.
Another example that becomes common:
The person that cannot do anything alone or be alone for more than two seconds. There is constant insecurity about people and a need to be connected to someone or groups of people all the time.
This example points to a deeply unmet social need (Maslow’s third tier) and by not being comfortable alone, they will never be able to achieve comfort with others and truly meaningful relationships.
Looking for Stuck Points
We all get stuck momentarily and there is certainly nothing wrong with twice a month fretting a bit about where paychecks went or spending a bit of time being lonely or even wondering about what the future may bring. All normal little stops for our brain and emotional composition.
Where motivational stuck becomes dangerous is when we spend a bunch of our time and energy there. Look at, and get feedback about what you talk about or even obsess about. Really think about where you are motivationally and strive always to seek the next level on the pyramid.
Tim Schneider is the founder of Aegis Learning and has been working with teams and leaders for 25 years. He generates results, impact and his sole focus is your success.
He is the author of The Ten Competencies of Outstanding Leadership and Beyond Engagement and a widely sought speaker, training facilitator and individual development coach.