Conflict or Clash?

By TimSchneider February 28, 2018 February 28, 2018 Leadership Articles, The 10 Quick Tips

Apply Understanding and Awareness Before Resolving Conflict

Chances are, you will work with someone that you do not get along with at some point in your career. When my kids complain to me about unkind teachers, or group work with peers that do not pull their weight, I tell them to view these experiences as valuable preparation for the workforce, where they will undoubtedly encounter bosses who lack empathy, co-workers who spend more time making excuses than producing results, and customers who are simply mean. And if you’ve ever had to take a stand on an issue, a decision, or a project, you may have found yourself in conflict with one of your colleagues and/or managers.

There are different strategies for handling conflict in the workplace, but before you jump into conflict resolution mode, take a moment to understand what the real problem is, what your role is in the situation, and what your motivation is for resolving it.

What is real problem? Is it a disagreement about a course of action on a project, or is it a clash of personalities? Is your reaction based on the merits of the action, or the behavior of the person who made the decision? If your conflict is based on a clash of personalities, it is important that you understand your role in the conflict.

What is your role? Always remember this: you can only control your own behavior. You may have developed strong active listening skills and worked very hard to demonstrate emotional intelligence traits like self-awareness, self-control, social skills, and empathy. But you cannot control the way another person hears your message, no matter how well you express your thoughts and ideas. Ask yourself, did you do everything you could to convey your point of view with clarity, consideration, and respect?

What is your motivation for resolving it? Take a step back and evaluate the value of the relationship in terms of how it impacts your job function, to determine if it is worth the effort. If it is a matter of clashing personalities (and not, say, a conflict over a business decision), and you otherwise rarely work with the person, would it be easier for you to just let it go? Can you work productively with somebody that you dislike (or who dislikes you)?

There is no doubt that conflict in the workplace can cause a great deal of stress, turning a dream job into 40 hours a week of misery. But if you are going to invest your time and energy trying to resolve a conflict, be sure that you understand what the problem is, what your role is, and why you want to resolve it, so that your energy can be focused on solving the real problem. And temper your expectations; there are bound to be personalities that you will never enjoy working with (and vice versa).

So are you stuck working with somebody you dislike? It might happen; if it does, let me share a strategy that has helped me work with the toughest personalities. I once worked for a boss that was very unlikable; this person was often rude and occasionally horribly insensitive to our customers, to my co-workers, to other leaders in the organization and (I’m told, behind my back) to me. But I really loved the job and the potential it had for advancing my career in a field I have a great deal of passion in. So instead of dwelling on the behaviors that disliked, I made a point of discovering something about this person I genuinely liked. For this boss, it was specific area of expertise. I found that by concentrating on a positive aspect of this person’s behavior, I was able to stay positive and productive in my own role (rather than dwelling in the negative – not great for productivity). I will admit that over time this person’s behavior led me to look for opportunities outside the organization. But I wasn’t making myself miserable while waiting for another job opportunity to arise, which helped me stay in a positive mindset for my next employer. Again, you can only control your own behavior.

Kim Price is an exceptionally gifted instructional designer and online learning content producer.

Kim’s love for technology opened the doors for her to teach in higher education; first at the College of Southern Nevada, and later at the University of Nevada Las Vegas. With over a decade teaching experience in higher education, Kim realized her passion for designing and facilitating learning experiences that make smart people even smarter. She continues to cultivate her passion for teaching and technology as a technology trainer in higher education.

Without Failure, Who Would You Be?

By TimSchneider February 16, 2018 February 16, 2018 Leadership Articles, The 10 Quick Tips

Create Safety and Learning from Failure Moments

By Camina Stevenson

For genuine football fans, this probably won’t seem like a new story. However, I would venture to guess, many haven’t heard the tale of a modern-day, football folk hero named Nicholas “Nick” Foles. Born and raised in Austin, Texas, Nick possessed a natural talent for the sport but definitely wasn’t always a starting quarterback. He didn’t know he would one day grow up to defeat Tom Brady and help dismantle the New England Patriot dynasty to make Super Bowl 52 history.

As a kid, Nick just loved the sport. He practiced relentlessly, dropping, fumbling and launching hundreds of football passes day and night before earning his way onto the high school varsity team. He didn’t win any high school football championships. Nick graduated from Westlake High in 2007 and continued playing in college but ended up having to redshirt twice, once for the 2008 freshman season and again during his 2010 junior season. Despite these setbacks, he was selected by The Philadelphia Eagles as the 88th pick in round three of the 2012 NFL draft.

After four seasons, the team that drafted Nick Foles to the NFL, no longer saw his worth. He was traded to the St. Louis Rams and played one season. Foles was unhappy with the trade. His performance on the field languished to the point where Nick thought he had surely lost love for the game. He considered retiring from the NFL and giving up the sport for good but changed his mind after going on a camping trip and having a heart-to-heart with family. He turned to his personal faith and decided it wasn’t time to quit.

In 2016, Nick signed on with the Kansas City, Chiefs as a backup quarterback. When the Chiefs declined a second-year option on his contract, he departed as a free agent and through an ironic twist of fate, ended up inking a two-year deal with the first team he ever played for in the NFL: The Philadelphia Eagles. This homecoming was bittersweet. Despite his return to the Eagles and playing once again with the team he loved and had never wanted to leave, Foles found himself mostly on the sidelines as a backup to Philadelphia’s all-star, franchise quarterback, Carson Wentz.

Then, it happened. Wentz suffered a season-ending injury during the NFC playoffs and Nick Foles – The Backup, The Unlikely Hero, The Lost Quarterback – stepped in and lifted the Philadelphia Eagles to unexpected heights of superstardom and glory.

Foles made Super Bowl history as the first quarterback to ever lead the Philadelphia Eagles to a Super Bowl title and can now be celebrated as the first player to ever throw and catch a touchdown in one Super Bowl game. While being honored as the reigning Champion and Super Bowl 52 MVP, Nick was asked to reflect on his career success and his response to the crowd was simple, humble and true:

“I think the big thing is don’t be afraid to fail. Failure is a part of life. It’s a part of building character and growing. Without failure, who would you be?”

Take a moment and envision one major career accomplishment you have achieved in your life. You may not have won any Super Bowl championships, but think big. Choose an undeniably bright highlight from your own personal success story. Now how did you get there?

Whenever you imagine the string of events leading you to any defined moment of success, you will probably recognize the familiar faces of people who went out of their way to help you along the journey. But do you also glance back like Nick Foles and see the questionable decisions you made, the setbacks, the disappointments, the wrong turns and missteps, the embarrassing, humiliating falls? Do you recognize the countless number of clumsy, awkward attempts it may have taken while learning to master new sets of skills? How many times were you turned away or rejected? How many times did you fail before you could ultimately succeed? These failures, every single one of them, taught you one invaluable lesson after another to help you become the person and leader you are today.

As someone taking on a leadership role in your organization, you may already have an awareness and understanding that spectacular failure is the only true path to success. So, have you given your team members enough opportunities to fail gracefully and spectacularly on their own?

Without creating opportunities for your team members to make mistakes, where will your team be around this time next year? They will stagnate. They will lose interest or burn out. Your team members share a fundamental emotional need to work in a supportive, empathic environment where they are free to make (guided) mistakes in order to learn, expand, innovate and grow.

CREATING OPPORTUNITIES FOR TEAM MEMBERS TO FAIL GRACEFULLY & SUCCEED

• Encourage others to step beyond their comfort zone. This means, delegate! Know they will fail sometimes but that’s part of the progress. Coach them through the mistakes.

• Don’t be afraid to let your team members know that failure is the only path to success. We must try many times to succeed. Pushing forward and learning to be resilient will be an important lesson.

• Remind team members that we learn about ourselves when we fail. We learn how to work together or form new strategies. We learn what works and what doesn’t. We learn humility. Most failures are simply successes in training.

• Teach team members to embrace failures rather than bolt from their inevitability. Show team members that the work environment encourages an atmosphere of rolling with the punches thus making future mistakes less painful and more of a learning experience.

• Celebrate failures as a team! Yes, seriously. Invite humor, fun and laughter whenever possible. If projects take turns for the worse, encourage team members to regroup and build upon the camaraderie and lessons learned for better outcomes down the road.

• Help your team understand that failure is a part of life and not something to be avoided. Remind yourself and your team that failure is our greatest mentor. Failure builds character and the more we fail, the more we can succeed!

Camina Stevenson devotes her daylight hours as a Social Work Specialist and Mentor/Agency Field Instructor for undergraduate and graduate students attending UNLV and USC.

Near sundown, she morphs into her more natural state of being as an autodidact, logophile, documentary photographer and digital storyteller. Her educational background includes a Bachelor of Arts in English from California State University, Long Beach and a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. She has served the Las Vegas community as a passionate advocate for social injustice (aka licensed social worker) since 2010.

Camina developed her love for travel at an early age having grown up on 3 continents. She has a deep affinity for laughter, music, nature, and the cosmos and feels most inspired when exploring the intricacies of the human condition or embarking on spontaneous (mis)adventures with Martine with whom she shares 1 Joaquin, 1 Nayeli, 2 Chi-Weenies and 1 Golden Doodle.

Looking for Happiness? Stop Multi-Tasking!

By TimSchneider February 6, 2018 February 6, 2018 Leadership Articles, The 10 Quick Tips

Focus for Greater Results and Less Stress

By Kim Price

A few years ago, I stumbled upon an app called “Track Your Happiness.” The premise of the app was quite simple; at random points throughout the day, the app would ask me to report my mood, and ask me what I was doing, allowing me to discover what makes me happy. I immediate downloaded the app and faithfully reported my emotional state throughout the day.

It turns out, the app was part of a study conducted by psychologists Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert of Harvard University. After collecting data from over 2,200 volunteers (including me) they discovered an interesting pattern: when people reported negative emotions, they were more likely to report that they were not fully focused on the task at hand – no matter what that task is. In other words, when our minds wander, we are unhappy. And according to this study’s findings, our minds wander for approximately 46.9 percent of our waking hours.

Do we really spend nearly 50% of our day not focused on what we are doing? In their book “The One Thing,” authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan report that the typical worker is interrupted approximately every 11 minutes. Those interruptions take a real toll; according to distraction researcher Gloria Mark, it takes an average of 25 minutes to recover from those distractions and re-focus to the task at hand.

It isn’t just distractions that throw off our focus; many of us choose to multi-task our way through the workday. The problem is, according to Earl Miller, a neuroscientist at MIT and expert on divided attention, we just weren’t built to multi-task. According to Miller, “when people think they’re multitasking, they’re actually just switching from one task to another very rapidly. And every time they do, there’s a cognitive cost in doing so.” But many of us are convinced that multi-tasking is effective, even rewarding, because of a dopamine feedback loop which rewards our brain for breaking our focus and searching for different external stimulation.

So, if you are in the habit of multi-tasking, or find that your day is full of distractions, how do you learn to stay focused on one task?

One simple technique you can use to help improve your focus is the Pomodoro Method. Named for the tomato-shaped timer used by Francesco Cirillo (who developed the method), the technique is quite simple. Select a task that you will work on for 25 minutes; set a timer (it doesn’t need to be a tomato), and turn off ALL distractions: turn off mail notifications, silence the phone, close the office door, close your web browser (or if you are working online, close all other tabs). Commit to focusing solely on the task for 25 minutes; at 25 minutes, give yourself a 5 minute “reward” break when you can check emails, text messages, social media, etc. After you’ve repeated this pattern 4 times, give yourself a longer reward break.

At first it won’t be easy; habits take time to form – in his book “Making Habits, Breaking Habits,” psychologist Jeremy Dean found that it takes on average 66 days, depending on the complexity of the new behavior, for a new habit to stick. So even if you fail to make it the entire 25 minutes the first few times you try, keep it up. Once this new “deep work” behavior becomes a habit, you’ll find that you are able to complete more tasks and – bonus – find yourself happier too!

Kim Price is an exceptionally gifted instructional designer and online learning content producer.

Kim fondly remembers her first computer: a TRS-80. It didn’t have any games or programs, so with the help of a BASIC programming book, she learned to write simple programs for herself. This marked the beginning of her lifetime love for computer technology!