Category: Leadership Articles

Confessions of a Rotten Boss

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Learning the Lessons of Great Leadership......The Hard Way

“I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better.”

Maya Angelou

By Teresa Lowry

Research tells us one of the top reasons people leave the workplace is they don’t like their boss. Your leader is the most influential person in the organization to you and the people on your team. People don’t usually leave their job for more money. They leave when the boss is disengaged and disconnected. They leave because they have a rotten boss.

My Aegis Learning colleague Polly Walker recently wrote a great article entitled “7 Deadly Signs of a Rotten Boss”. This prompted me to reflect on my early days as a boss. Having been promoted due to technical expertise and not emotional intelligence I certainly had my share of cringe worthy moments. Some of my rotten boss behaviors are listed below. I take comfort now in Maya Angelou’s words “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better I do better.”

OPEN DOOR POLICY IS ENOUGH

There I was in the big corner office adorned with floor to ceiling windows with an administrative assistant acting as guardian at the gate. My door to her adjacent space was open. I could say I had an open-door policy and tell people if they wanted to see me they could come to my office. The onus was on the members of my team. If they had a question or wanted to see me, they knew where to find me.

Fact: Leadership requires us to make frequent, personal contact with team members a priority. Get out of the office and walk around your organization.

WE ARE NOT HERE TO SOCIALIZE OR HAVE FUN

No need to attend social events or be social. This is work. Serious business. I’ll donate money for your parties, sign birthday and retirement cards, maybe send an email to acknowledge your milestone but don’t expect me to attend your parties and socialize because I am busy working. I am a stoic, private person with no desire to tell the people who work for me anything about me or my private life. Nor do I need to know about your personal life. Any need to socialize should be addressed outside of work.

Fact: Leadership requires relationship depth with team members. Successful organizations work hard and have fun. Create an environment where social interaction is valued and encouraged.

A PAYCHECK IS ALL THE REWARD YOU NEED

What is all the fuss about giving praise and positive feedback to people for doing a job they are getting paid to do? You get a paycheck, benefits, your job is stable. What more do you need? Feedback is provided in your yearly evaluation. If you don’t hear from me it means you are doing a good job.

Fact: Pay provided to team members compensates for the lowest minimum requirement of performance and behavior. Leaders can unlock discretionary effort through relationship depth and consistent positive feedback. When delivering positive feedback be direct and insure your tone is upbeat and positive.

TOUGHEN UP

A rotten boss expects you to accept and tolerate moods swings. Team members should not expect predictability. With great responsibility and the weight of the organization on my shoulders I am entitled to be sullen, serious and unapproachable depending on my emotional set point each day. Besides, this keeps people guessing and on their toes. I don’t want them to become too complacent or comfortable. Managing by fear is a good thing and promotes respect.

Fact: Successful leaders have good self-awareness and self-management. Emotional intelligence is far more predictive of workplace success than intellectual capacity. Consistency in behavior and approach is key in providing your team with a leader who is easy to follow. Solicit feedback from team members by asking “What am I projecting?”

One of the reasons I know what we teach at Aegis Learning works is because I learned the hard way what does not work. The rotten boss behaviors described above resulted in disengaged team members and low morale. Thankfully, you dear reader, now know better and can avoid ever being a rotten boss. Lead Well my friends.

Teresa Lowry is a passionate advocate for learning, growth and generating real organizational change.

What You Project is What You Get

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“There is no truth.  There is only perception.”

― Gustave Flaubert

By Polly Walker

Elite athletes and successful leaders have similar thought processes…they use mental models to positively and purposefully enhance performance. You can use mental models (frameworks that you carry in your mind) to impact your own performance, and the performance of those around you.

Here are four of the most powerful thought processes (mental models) that you can cultivate to maximize your effectiveness:

• Hope (believing that something good is going to happen): Focus on events where you were able to successfully handle serious situation in the past and good things that are coming in the future.

• Optimism (confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something): Focus on the positive achievements and things in your life, and expect the best.

• Resilience (the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties): Don’t dwell on things that you can’t do anything about. Focus on those things you can change and what comes next.

• Perseverance (steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success): Recall times that you have overcome personal challenges. Be determined to finish (and finish strong) long after others have given up.

What you PROJECT is often what you GET, so practicing these four mental models (and projecting them outward) can and will have very powerful impact on your outcomes and the outcomes of those around you.

Polly Walker’s areas of focus include leadership development, quality management, customer service, team member engagement and process improvement. She is an engaging and experienced facilitator, team builder, trainer, and change manager. 

Relationships: Where Trust is Built

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Matt Zobrist from Aegis Learning

People Connection Leads to Verified Trust

By Matt Zobrist

I am not an astronomer nor an astrophysicist. I like learning about space, technology and am an avid sci-fi buff. So, I was reading about the fact that scientist have recently reclassified SIMP J01365663+0933473 from a Brown Dwarf Star, to a large planet (about 13 times bigger than Jupiter), even though is not orbiting a star. Stunning, right? You may not care, and I don’t blame you. But here is why I tell that brief, but possibly boring story: When I read it I immediately thought to myself, “I should contact Dr. Armstrong to verify this?”

Doctor Armstrong happens to be someone I knew in high school. He is a PhD, astronomer that I reconnected with over social media. I wasn’t his close friend in high school and we haven’t spoken in person or on the phone, well… ever. So, why was he the first person I felt could call to verify the work of a full research team published in the Astrophysical Journal? Why did I think that if I needed to confirm what I read on astronomy.com and scienedaily.com I should contact an acquaintance from high school to verify it?

The simple answer is this: I have a relationship – however weak – with Dr. Armstrong. As humans, we tend to trust people with whom we have relationships. If I had several astrophysicist friends, I would have to decide who I trusted the most to answer my question. Or ask all of them and see if there was consensus. As it stands, I only have one. Even though our relationship is distant and weak, I would ask him rather than Google it.

This works in all areas of our lives. Buying a car? You ask people you know who drive that one already. Kids need diapers? You talk to someone who already went through that. Looking for a dentist or doctor? You check with friends and co-workers. We inherently have higher trust in information from someone we have a relationship than from other sources.

Because people trust those who they have relationships with, it is paramount as a leader to cultivate honest and open relationships with your team members. They will have an easier time trusting you when they know you. Take opportunities to build relationships with other people by talking to them about their families, their hobbies, and their life outside of work. Be interested in them as people and remember what they tell you. Celebrating their birthdays and special occasions will show that you care about them, not just their performance. PRO TIP: write this stuff down! Very few of us have photographic memories, so take notes. After a while, remembering personal things will become easier.

As you take time and effort to connect with people about non-work-related topics your relationships will grow. As your relationships strengthen, their trust in you will increase. Your role and ability to lead will become clearer and more defined, you will be more effective, and your team more productive.

Here’s a simple trust litmus test is this: Do they ask for your opinion instead of using the internet?

Matt Zobrist from Aegis Learning

Matt Zobrist is an energetic and dynamic facilitator, coach, presenter and speaker with Aegis Learning, LLC.

Resiliency-A Personal Journey

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Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

“Fall down seven times, get up eight.”

Japanese Proverb

By Kelley Reynolds

The thing about resiliency is in order to attain it, life has to knock you on your ass first. Right? How can you get up if you aren’t on the ground in the dirt?

My story, by the numbers:

26 = Trips to UCLA
10 = “Extra” months
5 = Brain surgeries
Infinite = Tears cried

“Brain tumor” NO WAY! There can’t be anything wrong with my husband’s brain. He earned a Master’s degree from Berkeley.

“Dying” IMPOSSIBLE! Have you even seen my husband? He is the Fitness Instructor for the Las Vegas Office of the Secret Service.

Cancer did not care about the logic of my denial. It didn’t even slow down for me to catch my breath.

There were 26 trips made to UCLA for treatment. For hope.

Inside one of buildings we frequently visited on the UCLA campus was a lovely courtyard with a tree and couple of tables and chairs. While he was receiving care, I would walk to a local restaurant and order lunch to go. I returned as the nurses finished with him. He and I would sit outside in the courtyard and eat lunch, like any two people in the world. It was a break, a respite from our current lives. Back when life was normal, once a week or so, we would meet for lunch. For an hour, in a courtyard at the UCLA cancer clinic, we could be normal.

We fought bravely, fiercely, naively, through exhaustion, through tears.

And then one day, there were no more lunches.

Life did not care that this was not my plan. Life continued without my consent. The sun rose the next morning. And the next. And the next. And so did I.

For whatever inexplicable reason, I was drawn to return to UCLA. I felt the desire to return. I wanted to walk to get lunch and go eat in the courtyard. I had this image; a way to honor or to connect to him. But life was moving forward. Life was not going to wait. Work beckoned. Piles of mail beckoned. The children’s activities beckoned. And so I rose and moved.

Life continued and changed. Children grew. People entered. Others left. New job. Fresh diploma. And still I felt pulled to return to UCLA. To eat lunch in the courtyard.

Only a few years had passed since he and I were there together. Now the time was right. My life was at a point and I was ready to make the trip.

The drive was unremarkable. When I arrived, I parked and set off on foot to decide on a restaurant. The sidewalks were familiar. But the place at the end of the block, where hamburgers had previously been sold, now specialized in fried chicken. That new café used to be the ice cream shop where I purchased about ten gallons of strawberry ice cream with crushed Butterfinger pieces on top. I continued undaunted. Thankfully, the sandwich shop was still on the corner.

With the paper bag, filled my husband’s favorite lunch, in hand, I followed the path I had walked dozens of times. I arrived at the familiar crosswalk and pushed the button. As I made my way across the street, I looked around the neighborhood. There was a brand new big building sitting in front of my destination. Maybe I was at the wrong intersection? No. I was in the correct spot. I would just walk through the new building to get to my courtyard. When that didn’t work, I decided to walk around this beautiful new building that was filled with eager energetic dental students, to get to our courtyard.

It only took 20 minutes of walking in circles for my denial to dissipate. My building was gone. Our courtyard was gone. Not just metaphorically, but actually. The courtyard that I daydreamed about for three years, demolished to make way for new fresh life. Now what was I going to do with the French dip sandwich? How was I going to honor him? I couldn’t sit in the new place. There weren’t any trees or greenery. And, it wasn’t ours.

Still clutching the lunch bag in my hand, feeling confused and disappointed, I made my way back to the street. As I stood on the sidewalk, contemplating my next move, I noticed that right next door was a park. Big trees, greenery, bushes.

Although we never visited it, I knew, being an avid outdoorsman (he proposed to me at Zion National Park), he would have loved this place. There was a perfect spot, under a tree next to the pond. I sat on the ground and savored our lunch.

While on the ground, I thought about this situation. Sure, my life was moving, better than I imagined it would. Yet it never occurred to me that the lunch of my day dreams could have changed. What a silly expectation. That life would stand still.

Soon lunch was over. It was time for me to leave. So once again, I rose from the ground and continued to move.

Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

Kelley’s optimistic outlook on life guides her belief that change is possible!

Her easy going instruction style mixed with a dry wit make her an entertaining educator. She has instructed professionals throughout the nation as well as internationally. Kelley has earned a Master of Business Administration and possesses a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, both from University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

You Never Know

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Your Impact Can Be Deep and Far-Reaching

“Every action we take impacts the lives of others around us.  The question is, are you aware of your impact?”

Arthur Carmazzi

By Teresa Lowry

It appeared out of the blue, completely unexpected. The request through Facebook Messenger asked if I would be available to meet her for coffee. She was coming to Las Vegas with her family. I said yes. If she had used her married name I would not have recognized her. She used her maiden name, so I remembered her.

We set a date and met at the Excalibur where she was staying for a long weekend. When I arrived, I shook hands with her sons and smiled at her grandchildren. Her middle son said they had been looking for me, calling past employers and searching social media. The children and grandchildren left for the arcade leaving her and I alone to reconnect.

She shared that for the past 17 years she has worked for social services in her home state. Most recently she was promoted to a position responsible for running a child abuse prevention program. This past spring, as part of a child abuse prevention and awareness campaign, she made a training video to educate and inform professionals in the field. It was important to her that the audience know that they can have a lasting positive impact on the lives of the children they meet. The video was well received resulting in the local sheriff making a request for copies for his department.

This video was personal. She decided to make it real and tell her story and the story of the professionals who helped her. There was the police officer, social worker, detective and teacher. She was a 13-year-old victim of unspeakable abuse picked up by a police officer whose instincts told him she was in more trouble than she was willing to admit. He took his time encouraging her to talk, he reassured her and calmed her fears. He promised protection and safety. She took a leap of faith and told her truth.

The officer rescued her but then she and her younger sister were alone without any family support. Knowing how isolated and lonely protective custody can be for a child the officer took steps to help. He and his wife would visit her and include her and her sister in their family outings.

She recalled the kindness of the detective assigned to her case. As the months in Child Haven dragged on, he made a point to include her in his family activities. She was able to have fun and be a kid again until a relative placement was found, and she moved away.

In high school, a caring teacher took an interest her, mentoring and guiding her to graduation and her first part time job in a bank. She gives credit to this teacher for keeping her in school and getting her through the difficult times when running away was an ever-present option.

Reliving her story through the video sparked a thought. Could she find any of the people who had helped her? She wanted to say thank you. Her son told her he would help. He didn’t give up until he found me.

Thirty-four years ago, I was a 24-year-old social worker assigned to child abuse investigations. She was one of the children on my caseload. I remember the solemn intensity and seriousness she carried at such a young age. Her name was one that stayed with me. We talked for almost two hours. The memories were fresh for her as she described my holding her hand while she cried waiting to testify in court. She said my words of encouragement gave her strength. She reminded me that I had taken her shopping for clothes and shoes on her birthday. She wanted me to know that my kindness mattered. She said thank you. I told her I was proud of her. We promised to keep in touch, hugged and said goodbye.

Teresa Lowry is a passionate advocate for learning, growth and generating real organizational change.

Signs Your Workplace is Toxic

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You May be in a Toxic Workplace If:

Tim Schneider, Coach, Speaker, Author and Trainer from Aegis Learning

By Tim Schneider

Last week, our very own Polly Walker, wrote a great piece about horrible bosses and poor leadership.  Great read and I encourage you to take a look at it.

And now, a bit of a different perspective related to a toxic working environment and the signs that you may be in one:

Hiring and Promoting Practices

Based on experience, longevity or insider favoritism.  Over-values technical skills and under-values interpersonal skills.  Turnover, or transfers out are extremely high.  Those not transferring or leaving are looking.

Input Not Solicited 

Never is input, comments or ideas solicited from team members.  The boss has all the ideas and dictates outcomes.

Favoritism and Harassment are Permitted

Even when reported, rampant favoritism and harassment is ignored or tolerated.  Only the lowest level team members are actually held accountable for a code of conduct.

Learning is Ignored

Little or no value is given to learning and growth.  Opportunities for learning and growth are minimized for “work coverage” and no holistic view is given to team member learning.

Needs Are Not Met

The primary needs of self-esteem and relationship connectivity are not met or are not being fed.  The environment does not encourage social interactions and praise is only used begrudgingly.

Communication Vehicle and Frequency

Too much email and not enough face-to-face communication occurring.  Email is used to cover your you-know-what.  Widespread copies and blind copies.  Good communication is rare and rumors rule the data flow.

Opaque Transparency

Secrecy and those who know versus who does not know.  Nothing is shared in a forthright and open manner.  Creates huge amounts of anxiety among team members.

Budget is King

All hail the mighty budget!  Doesn’t matter what the right thing is or where opportunity is missed, its all about being under budget.

Right is Never Right

As obvious as the right thing is, it escapes the toxic environment.  Discipline for the bad is ignored and taking care of the good is an afterthought.  

Tim Schneider

Tim Schneider is the founder, CEO and lead facilitator for Aegis Learning.  

7 Deadly Signs of a Rotten Boss

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“Good leadership isn’t about advancing yourself.  Its about advancing your team.”

― John Maxwell

By Polly Walker

At some point in your career you (or someone close to you) has probably worked for someone that was a rotten boss. According to an April 2015 Gallup study, 50% of workers in the United States have quit their job to get out of this very same scenario. This situation is very common because hiring and promotion decisions are usually based on a team member’s past experience and/or technical expertise, and not how good of a leader they are or what management skills they possess. These folks get rewarded for their technical expertise by being put in an entirely different role supervising or managing team members…often with disastrous results.

What is a rotten boss? Here are seven of the most common behaviors of someone who probably shouldn’t be in a leadership position:

1. Nitpicking and micromanagement: Nobody can do it as good as they can. They are down in the weeds and in your business.

2. Public criticism/bullying: They enjoy correcting people or calling team members out by name in meetings and public forums.

3. Lack of positive feedback: Their only interactions are to tell team members what they are doing “wrong”, and there is never a pat on the back for what they are doing “right”.

4. Doesn’t encourage career growth: No discussions are held to find out how the team member wants to develop and how the business and the leader can support them.

5. Bad listener: They don’t solicit input and/or they can’t or won’t listen.

6. Plays favorites: They expect less and relax rules for certain team members.

7. Never wrong/don’t apologize: Everyone makes mistakes. But when they do they sweep it under the rug or don’t apologize for it.

Did reading these seven signs bring back memories? What kind of impact did that rotten boss have on you, your team members and your organization? Team members are an organization’s greatest asset. Companies need to ensure that when hiring decisions are made that the person has either demonstrated good management skills, or that they are given the leadership training they need to be a good supervisor or manager prior to or as soon as possible after promotion. Rotten bosses result in team members who either leave the organization or stay and are miserable, so it is very important companies hire and promote the right people and provide timely and impactful leadership training.

Polly Walker’s areas of focus include leadership development, quality management, customer service, team member engagement and process improvement. She is an engaging and experienced facilitator, team builder, trainer, and change manager. 

Recommended Reading-Why the Mighty Fall

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Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

“Success is falling down and getting up one more time, without end.”

Jim Collins

Leading Edge from Aegis Learning

By Kelley Reynolds

Jim Collins is one of the authors who brought us Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies and From Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t. A few years ago, Collins was facilitating a session for military generals, CEOs and other leaders. During one of the breaks, one of the participants asked Collins, “When you are on the top of the world, the most successful company in your industry, your power and success might coverup the fact that you are already on the path to decline. How would you know?” This conversation inspired Collins to conduct research which lead to this book.

Collins previous books were focused on companies building on greatness. Collins was now curious to understand the decline of once great companies. This book is the embodiment of the philosophy of “We learn more from our failures than we do by our successes.”

Each chapter is easy to read. There are interesting examples provided to illustrate the findings of his research. Most every company used as an example was well known, for example A&P, Rubbermaid and Scott Paper. Collins also shared experiences and lessons learned from his life. Although the research started with one question, the answer lead to more questions. The chapters flow logically from each new question. For those who are interested in greater details, there are several appendices which provide additional information for the companies referenced in the book.

From Collins previous works, Good to Great and Built to Last, he and his research team had already amassed records which reflected a combined 6000 years of corporate history. They selected 60 major companies. Within the 60, they identified 11 companies that met their rigorous criteria which included a rise and fall.

Armed with the new information, the team updated their previous research. The questions they sought answers to were: What happened leading up to the point at which decline became visible and what did the company do once it began to fall? They utilized historical materials. Materials that were produced from the time of the companies’ founding to its decline, focusing on specific eras. These materials included such items as annual reports, major articles published about the company and industry reference materials. Collins did not want to rely upon retrospective interviews as those could be clouded or biased. The documents used were published and written at the those points in time without the knowledge of what would occur to the businesses.

As they researched, the team selected as a control set, a successful company that was a contemporary of the business that had fallen. The companies selected had risen at the same time and were in the same industry, such as Circuit City and Best Buy; Ames and Wal-Mart.
Collins considered the following questions: Are there clearly distinguishable stages of decline? If so, can you spot decline early? Are there telltale markers? Can you reverse decline? If so, how? Is there a point of no return?

Based upon the research, Collins and his team identified five stages of decline:

Stage 1: Hubris Born of Success

Collins cited many examples of hubris including undisciplined endeavors into areas where a company cannot excel; ignoring evidence to make risky decisions and outright denial that their company is at risk. One form of hubris Collins referred to was Arrogant Neglect. He provided the example of Circuit City that diverted its attention from their primary “flywheel,” what made the company successful, to chase the next big thing, on the assumption that their original success will take care of itself. As in relationships, if you divert your attention or ignore someone long enough, the relationship will decline.

Stage 2: Undisciplined Pursuit of More

During the research portion, Collins expected to find that companies had rested upon their laurels and had become complacent. However, in most of the companies reviewed, this was not the case. The opposite was found; the companies were found to have overreached. The companies were obsessed with growth. They strayed from their core purposes and values. When attempting to grow quickly, the companies were unable to fill vacant seats with the right people. The #1 ingredient for a culture of discipline is having the right people. The people who are self- managed and exemplify self-motivation do not require lots of rules and bureaucracy. When a company instituted many needless rules and bureaucracy, the company drove away the right people. The businesses suffered from vacancies born of rapid growth and loss of their key people.

Stage 3: Denial of Risk

This stage was marked with discounting negative or unpleasant information rather than addressing what was wrong with the company. The leaders made decisions that were not based upon the facts of the situation. The leaders shifted to dictatorial management, or, the members stopped telling the leaders what the leaders were unwilling to hear.

Stage 4: Grasping for Salvation

Panic is not pretty. The companies changed leaders. They moved headquarters. They searched for silver bullets. They restructured, again and again. This lead to confusion and disappointment. Collins described this reactive behavior as counter intuitive. It was contrary to survival. When the companies behaved in a frantic manner it accelerated their demise. Collins shared lessons learned from a combat veteran. Remain calm. Focus and take one shot at a time.

Stage 5: Capitulation to Irrelevance or Death

Collins research revealed two versions of stage 5. CEOs either decided to stop fighting for the company; or they continued to fight until there were out of options. Once those in power gave up hope, there was nothing left for them to give.

Well Founded Hope

The final chapter of the book Collins sought to prepare and empower leaders. He wanted to give hope.

Collins believed that decline was largely self-inflicted and recovery was often within the leader’s control. Companies experienced peaks and valleys. Just because a company experienced a decline did not mean it would fail. Being great did not preclude a company from falling. At the same time, just because a company fell, did not preclude it from raising again.

With empowerment, you have choices in how to respond to your situations. With adversity comes opportunity for growth and greatness. Collins wrote: “The signature of the truly great versus the merely successful is not the absence of difficulty, but the ability to come back from setbacks, even cataclysmic catastrophes, stronger than before.”

He ended the book with this: “Success is falling down and getting up one more time, without end.”

Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

Kelley’s optimistic outlook on life guides her belief that change is possible!

Her easy going instruction style mixed with a dry wit make her an entertaining educator. She has instructed professionals throughout the nation as well as internationally. Kelley has earned a Master of Business Administration and possesses a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, both from University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

Aegis Cares – 2018 Update

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Aegis Learning Cares
Aegis Learning Cares
Aegis Learning Cares

Furthering Our Commitment to the Community

Aegis Learning Cares

The first half of 2018 saw Aegis Cares, the community involvement arm of Aegis Learning, grow support and contributions in a number of areas.  The highlights include:

Las Vegas Rescue Mission:

  • Assisted with five dinner and lunch services
  • 105 volunteer hours donated and over 500 residents fed
  • Conducted 2 bottles water collections
  • 103 cases of water collected and distributed
  • Conducted one clothing drive: 17 large bags of clothing collected and distributed

Hope for Prisoners

  • Donated 30 hours of leadership development training to the office team
  • Donated success skills programs with those transitioning out of prison at three different campuses
  • Spoke at mentor rally about communication effectiveness

Big thanks to Polly Walker for coordinating our Aegis Cares events and campaigns.  

As we continue to live our purpose and give back as much as we can, we invite you to join us.

#powerof1

#risetopurpose

Join Aegis Cares Facebook Group

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To Tell the Truth

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Three Ways to Uncover Your Blind Spots: DiSC Assessment, 360 Survey, Truth Teller/Peer Coach

When three people call you an ass, put on a bridle.

Spanish Proverb

By Teresa Lowry

To Tell the Truth is a game show that has run consecutively and intermittently since 1956, airing at least one new episode in seven consecutive decades. The premise is that the panelist judges must identify the real central character who is with a group of imposters. The imposters may lie when answering questions while the central character must tell the truth.

We all need truth tellers in our lives and careers. These are the people who can help us uncover our blind spots. Behavioral blind spots are those areas in your behavior and projection of skills that others see with total clarity but in which we have no awareness. This is especially true when it comes to the impact of those behaviors and actions. The behavior itself may not be inherently negative but the impact on other people and team members may be negative or have adverse impacts.

Common leadership blind spots include verbal tone, facial expressions, volume of positive feedback and appreciation, approachability, and empathy. The impact of blind spots on leadership is large. Each unresolved or unmanaged blind spot has the potential to create relationship strains, conflict, distrust and lack of engagement.

There are three ways to uncover our blind spots. The DiSC assessment, 360 feedback surveys and truth tellers/peer coaches. DiSC is a behavior assessment tool that asks a series of questions that produce a detailed report about your personality and behavior. A 360 survey gathers feedback from your colleagues in the workplace. The participants may respond anonymously about your strengths and weaknesses. Truth tellers/peer coaching involves a trust-based relationship in the workplace where feedback can be exchanged with each other.

Our focus here is the care and feeding of your truth tellers. First, make a conscious decision to surround yourself with people who will tell you what you may not want to hear. Ask yourself: Do I provide a safe place for my truth tellers to give me feedback? Do I solicit and welcome feedback? When feedback is given do I argue against it, become defensive or ignore it? Our goal and the best way to accept feedback is to listen and express thanks.

I am fortunate to have many trusted truth tellers in my life. In my experience they appear in three distinct forms. They are the Comedian, the Drill Sergeant and the Angel. Each has given me valuable feedback about how I am perceived by others.

The Comedian uses humor to point out my behavioral blind spots. They may mimic or exaggerate my direct sharp tone or my lack of empathy. They pantomime my out of control ego. This is always done in a way that I know they have my best interest at heart and I can’t help but double over laughing at them and myself.

The Drill Sergeant is direct, to the point and unemotional. They are often the toughest to listen to because they are so blunt, but they have the courage to tell you what no one else will. They will tell me when my breath is bad, I smell, I’ve gained 20 pounds and when my pontificating sucks all the air out of a room. They don’t sandwich their comments with compliments or disclaimers. Despite the delivery I know they want me to be successful.

The Angel tends to tell me the truth indirectly by way of story, allegory or innuendo. They often model the behavior they hope I will adopt. They set a good example. Feedback is delivered with kindness and compassion. Their observation can be the easiest to accept although it is often very subtle, so I must stay diligent and listen closely to their counsel.

Listen to and thank your Comedian, Drill Sergeant and Angel. Author and teacher Michael Beckwith reminds us in Spiritual Liberation: Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential “be grateful that life brings us all that we require to wake up…We discover within ourselves the humility to be a beginner over and over again, which keeps us teachable.” Our goal is to stay teachable and ready to listen when our Comedian, Drill Sargent and Angel show up to tell the truth. Oh, and if the Comedian, Drill Sergeant and Angel all call you an ass, put on a bridle.

Teresa Lowry is a passionate advocate for learning, growth and generating real organizational change.