Recommended Reading-The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team

Kelley Reynolds from Aegis Learning

“The single most untapped competitive advantages is teamwork.”

Patrick Lencioni

Leading Edge from Aegis Learning

By Kelley Reynolds

Patrick Lencioni has written a leadership fable about fictional Kathryn Petersen, the new CEO of DecisionTech. He has identified five dysfunctions that cause problems within organizations. Within each section, Petersen instructs her team through a series of exercise. The appendix offers additional specific exercises to overcome each of the dysfunctions.

Reading about the dysfunctions of team and thinking of the converse, high performing teams, one thought jumps into my brain: SWAT teams. These are the law enforcement special weapons and tactic teams. There are probably military teams who operate under the same philosophies, but my familiarity is limited to law enforcement. SWAT teams are highly specialized, highly trained cohesive teams. They HAVE to function. The consequences of dysfunction within one of their teams is not merely a slow quarter nor is not a lost sale. Dysfunction within a SWAT team could result in lost lives, civilian and law enforcement.

1. Absence of trust
Lack or loss of trust is at the core of any type of broken relationship; whether we call the relationship marriage, friendship or colleague. Without trust in place, there is no level of emotional intimacy. At best the interactions are cordial, the other end of the spectrum could include open hostility or worse. To have a cohesive team, you have to be able to be honest with each other. As well, there needs to be trust within the team for one to be honest about oneself while communication with the other team members.

You might be thinking, “Wait a minute. You mentioned a SWAT team. Where do emotions and intimacy come into play?” Oh, tough SWAT officers have emotions. Have you ever seen the tears well up in their eyes when their brand new armored SWAT vehicle is delivered from the showroom?

There are such rigorous standards to qualify for the team, from the beginning, the members know the new member is of high caliber. They train together. Hard, dirty, sweaty training. They build camaraderie through shared experiences.

2. Fear of Conflict
Without trust, team members will not have open discussion of ideas. What options are there for the team, if new ideas aren’t shared? If trust was lost, how can it be rebuilt until the issue is addressed. Addressing the issue is oftentimes going to involve conflict.

Okay, do you think SWAT team members have a fear of conflict? Yeah, me neither. Do they have conflicts on the team? You bet! However, they know what is at stake if they allow the conflict to fester and that is simply not an option. They address issues. Conflicts within the team get resolved.

3. Lack of Commitment
It is much easier to gain buy-in if everyone has an opportunity speak and is willing to share their ideas. Then, the team needs to engage in healthy debate surrounding the ideas. If the members aren’t involved in healthy conflict, it may impact their commitment to the plan.
So, SWAT members engage in discussion about executing search warrants. They weigh the pros and cons of using a flash-bang or other devices. Once the plan is made, all of them understand the plan and are committed to it.

4. Avoidance of Accountability
Without commitment and little to no trust, the fourth dysfunction occurs, and it is two-fold. If someone did not buy into the plan, how much responsibility will they take for their behaviors? “It wasn’t my idea. I knew it wasn’t going to work.” You can hear them say it. If there is little trust among peers, who among the team will hold them accountable?

This is where SWAT teams excel. There is no avoiding accountability. After every event, the SWAT team debriefs. Everyone in the room is given an opportunity to speak, twice. The first time around, the team member is expected to acknowledge any action they took or failed to take. If, during the first time around, someone failed to take responsibility for their own actions, on the second go-round, it is the other team members responsibility to point out the unacknowledged errors.

5. Inattention to Results
When members of the team fail to hold each other accountable, the team loses focus of the big picture. At this point, individual members may put their needs above the team or the team may look no further than itself without consideration to the organization’s needs.
The results of the SWAT team’s work is usually on the nightly news. Criminals may be arrested. There may be law suits filed. It is virtually impossible to ignore the results of a SWAT team’s work. Furthermore, the lessons learned from the debrief are incorporated into their training. They may become policy and best practice.

Learning from their experiences and modifying their tactics to keep citizens and officers safe is the mission of the police department. Teams working toward the mission of the organization is the goal that Lencioni’s book attempts to achieve.

Kelley Reynolds

Kelley’s optimistic outlook on life guides her belief that change is possible!

Her easy going instruction style mixed with a dry wit make her an entertaining educator. She has instructed professionals throughout the nation as well as internationally. Kelley has earned a Master of Business Administration and possesses a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, both from University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

Curiosity Elevates the Cat

“Curiosity is the most powerful thing you own.”

― James Francis Cameron

By Polly Walker

What is one of the most powerful things you can do to be BETTER? The secret to your success lies in cultivating curiosity. Curiosity can give you a profound advantage both in business and in life.

Curiosity is something we feel when we are struck by a strange or unusual object or fact, which then results in a strong desire to know or learn something. Many people believe that curiosity is a trait (i.e. it can’t be taught, it is a natural tendency), but that is not the case. Curiosity is a behavior, which is fantastic because this means you can LEARN how to do it.

Why be curious? There are many, many positive outcomes from being curious, but I have chosen just to highlight my “big three” here:

• Strengthen Relationships – Curious people are genuinely interested in others, and asking questions builds connection.
• Increase Competence: Gathering knowledge and sharing information sparks the ability to innovate, enhances credibility, and supports the achievement of outcomes.
• Fuel Positive Mindset: Growth-minded people ask questions and believe that there is always an answer to any problem or situation.

The September, 2006, Edition of Psychology Today outlined some easy ways that you can “train” yourself to be more curious.

• Reframe “boring” situations.
If you’ve got an inquiring mind, it’s possible to turn even mundane events, like waiting in line at the DMV, into something meaningful. Look for details others might miss, and seek to learn more about them. For instance, try turning to another customer in line and saying, “I noticed the Purple Heart pinned to your jacket. What war did you serve in?”

• Don’t let fear stop you from trying something new.
“If you’re curious about something, it acts as a positive counterweight to anxiety and fear,” Silvia says. Exercising your curiosity won’t wipe out doubt, but it may help you focus on the likely positive consequences of a new venture (learning to execute a perfect swan dive) rather than the negative ones (doing a belly flop and surfacing to the sound of laughter).

• Let your true passions shine.
A key component of curiosity is what Boston College psychologist Ellen Winner calls a “rage to master”—whether that involves accumulating rejection slips from The New Yorker or spending hours in the basement learning banjo fingerings. An intense focus on specific interests or goals invites the state of mental immersion called “flow,” which in turn elicits feelings of accomplishment and well-being.

James Cameron (the Director of Titanic, Terminator, Aliens, Avatar and several other movies) says “Curiosity is the most powerful thing you can own”. His curiosity as a child about exploring the world around him spurred numerous dives to the bottom of the ocean (including a dive of 45,756 feet to the bottom of the ocean to film Titanic), the creation of several undersea documentaries, the invention of several underwater apparatus, and the creation of several of biggest blockbuster movies ever. The secret to your success lies in cultivating curiosity.

Polly Walker’s areas of focus include leadership development, quality management, customer service, team member engagement and process improvement. She is an engaging and experienced facilitator, team builder, trainer, and change manager. 

Take Your Leadership on Vacation

By Kelley Reynolds

The impetus for this article was having recently returned home from an extended family vacation in Europe (yes, extended described both the family and the vacation).

While on the plane home, I reflected on the trip, experiences and adventures. We had some wonderful adventures exploring Spain and France. Tasting tapas; climbing castles; chewing croissants; boarding bullet trains (I couldn’t think of any appropriate ‘w’ verb to describe wine activity, probably just as well).

Looks fantastic, doesn’t it? Lest, you think my family is comprised of the characters from the Stepford Wives, where we all sit under rainbows and hug, we experienced some, um, unpleasant adventures, too.

In an effort to identify opportunities to improve future vacations, I reflected on some of the challenges we faced. After some thought, there was a consistent issue: communication. Sure, there are those communication challenges that will naturally occur with jet lag and a nine-hour time difference; not to mention the two different languages none of us spoke. Language was really an issue when we had to learn how to say: “Endodontist, I need an emergency root canal” in Spanish. However, we also experienced other communication challenges as described in Tim Schneider’s book, Lead Well: The 10 Competencies of Outstanding Leadership.

I can share with you the importance of good communication (or would have been).

Richness of communication can be described degree of emotional connectivity to the message. The greatest richness is achieved by in-person communication, followed by telephone, written and finally text. Oh, Richness, how I missed you. Lobert (the names have been changed to protect the innocent, and mostly because I have to see them during the holidays) did not coordinate when he booked his family’s accommodations. Lobert and his family ended up staying in another village, 30 minutes away from the rest of us! This impacted our ability to communicate face to face.

Prior to leaving the states, Lobert decided he did not want to pay extra to use his cellphone while in Europe. His plan was to communicate with us via the internet utilizing a messaging app. Unfortunately, in order to do this, the app required access to the internet which was not always available to Lobert. His plan was to locate cafes and bistros that offered free WiFi. This may have worked had Lobert remembered to bring his cellphone when he left his hotel. Maybe he was relying on his telepathic abilities? Hopefully, Lobert was not able to read the minds of the rest of the family who waited and searched for him.

To recap, we lost richness without in-person communication. Richness eroded further when we were unable to call each other. Written word was dependent upon the elusive free WiFi.

Clarity of communication is another challenge. ‘Too many words’ creates not enough understanding. Active Listening can go hand in hand with clarity. If someone is using a lot of words, we tend to stop listening and jump to what we think they are saying. So, we finally meet up with Lobert at one of the amazing 14th century castles/obvious landmarks of this particular city. Lobert begins to chat about the castle.

And talks and talks and talks. We nod and say “Uh huh”. Naturally, now the group of 15 of us are in line, with Euros in hand, to purchase the castle tour and audio guides. About 3/4ths the way through this castle, the 7th castle we visited on our extended vacation, a member of the family, who has honed her leadership skills, to quite possibly the Greatest Of All Time, who we will refer to as GOAT for short, finally asked a few of the other family members if they had wanted to tour the castle. None of them had been even the slightest bit interested. Not even Lobert, whom we had assumed wanted to explore the castle, had any interest in touring the castle. Ugh.

If we had clarity, the message might not have gotten lost in the words. Or, if we had practiced active listening skills instead of “Uh huh” we might have gone canoeing instead of wandering around another dank old castle.

After leaving the castle, GOAT noticed everyone was a little cranky and irritable. Well, they were all annoying her, so they must have been cranky. In a master stroke of leadership, she gathered everyone in a circle and made the suggestion to find a place to eat. To gain buy-in, everyone was given an opportunity to say where they wanted to eat. She used her active listening skills, asked appropriate questions and paid attention.

Dinner was a delicious triple scoop cone of pistachio gelato!

Oh, and the emergency root canal. You guessed it. Lobert’s!

Kelley Reynolds

Kelley’s optimistic outlook on life guides her belief that change is possible!

Her easy going instruction style mixed with a dry wit make her an entertaining educator. She has instructed professionals throughout the nation as well as internationally. Kelley has earned a Master of Business Administration and possesses a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, both from University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

Great Leaders are Good Storytellers

By Polly Walker

Storytelling is one of the most powerful ways that we can connect with another person. When done effectively it can evoke positive memories in the listener, and well as endearing the storyteller to the listener by revealing strengths and vulnerabilities. Most people are comfortable at telling stories in a personal setting, but don’t understand how to deploy this technique in a professional setting. This article is designed to enhance your leadership effectiveness by providing three great ways to utilize storytelling in the workplace.

Mentoring

Leaders often serve as mentors, advising someone in developing specific skills and knowledge that will support the person’s career growth. By sharing stories about the mentor’s experience and career, the leader/mentor will be more effectively able to impact the mentee by relating actual experiences and outcomes.

Public Speaking

A good story instantly evokes the emotions of the listener. In public speaking, one of the best ways to get your point across and get the attention of the listener is to illustrate how the topic matters to you by weaving in a personal story. Share your vulnerabilities and utilize humor to make your story memorable. A powerful, personal story that is important to you and related to the topic at hand is key to every great presentation.

Relationship Building

To your team members, you are the face of your company. If you want to build an engaged workplace, it is your role as a leader to build relationships. Sharing stories is a very powerful way to do this. Families, hobbies and pets are great topics for your storytelling, with the objective of building commonality and trust. Keep it light and not too personal… and don’t forget to solicit that same information back from your team members.

Want to be a better, more effective leader? Storytelling will help you connect on a new and very powerful level with your team members.

Polly Walker’s areas of focus include leadership development, quality management, customer service, team member engagement and process improvement. She is an engaging and experienced facilitator, team builder, trainer, and change manager. 

Impossible to Possible

"Nuts!"

Tim Schneider, Coach, Speaker, Author and Trainer from Aegis Learning

By Tim Schneider

Admittedly, I struggle with anyone pronouncing impossibility. Sticks in my craw and creates an internal bristle. Okay, maybe more than a bristle.

Impossibility is declared most commonly in “I can’t” type of statements. To wit: “I can’t survive on my own”, “I can’t learn that technical stuff”, “I don’t have enough time or resources”, “My situation won’t allow that”, “I don’t do sales”, “We can’t compete against that”.

Seems the declaration of impossibility is very easy to speak and painfully effective in providing cover for comfort, complacency and failure to challenge oneself.

For the effective leader, and the high-performing team/organization, challenging impossibility must occur daily. Nothing is impossible when both attitude and effort are aligned.

December, 1944 offers some great historical lessons on the impossible becoming highly successful.

The Impossible Situation

Outnumbered five-to-one, low on supplies and painfully short on cold weather gear, the 101st Airborne Division was surrounded in the town of Bastogne. The German advance, later to be named The Battle of the Bulge, was spearheaded by multiple Panzer divisions, Wehrmacht German infantry and the feared Waffen SS.

General Heinrich Von Luttwitz sent a demand to surrender to all American forces under siege in Bastogne.

The December 22, 1944 reply from Brigadier General Anthony McAuliffe: “Nuts!”.

McAuliffe openly defied the logic of impossible and chose to reposition his attitude to one of defiance and resolve. Understanding the risks and consequences, he chose to move forward against impossible odds and even the advice of subordinate commanders.

The Impossible Solution

On December 19, 1944, Supreme Allied Commander, Dwight Eisenhower, called a meeting of all senior theater commanders. Searching for a solution, he asked General George Patton about the amount of time needed to disengage his troops from the heavy fighting in the south of Germany and relieve the 101st Airborne Division.

“48 hours” General Patton replied.

Eisenhower challenged Patton and suggested this approach was impossible. He even inferred General Patton was a bit crazy for this outlandish solution.

By December 21, 133,000 vehicles and six full divisions of Patton’s 3rd Army were on the move north. Elements of the 4th Armored Division entered Bastogne on December 26.

The impossible solution was achieved.

Patton’s choice was daring and defied the expert’s conclusions that it could not be done. His solution also flew in the face of all historical references of past performance. The general had a little trick though. He anticipated the need and pre-planned three strategies for disengaging from his current position and moving north prior to being asked.

Impossible to Possible

As with great historical battles and struggles, we too, are faced with the seemingly impossible. Here are some strategies to convert impossible to possible:

1. Stop listening to anyone that declares a situation impossible. Shun them. Run from them.

2. Create an incremental plan, with measurable milestones, of how to conquer the challenge. Breaking impossible into small parts makes something look much more possible. You don’t have to learn everything about technology in one day. You can start with a single application or even how the hardware works.

3. Remove the demons from your attitude by stop echoing and providing the self-talk of can’t or difficult.

4. Use a pause when negative and self-defeating language is about to come out of your mouth or flow through your fingers. Is it really “can’t”?

5. Challenge your own personal comfort, convenience and complacency. Growth and moving out of your current spot is hard. But it’s a lot easier than roasting in the misery of sameness.

6. Use history for the lessons of possible and not the failures of prior ventures. Yes, someone else tried it and it was an epic failure, but that was someone else. Not you.

7. Dream big and reconcile to reality. Shoot for big outcomes and targets. You can always reel those back to certain reality points but start with something that truly appears impossible.

Tim Schneider

Tim Schneider is the founder, CEO and lead facilitator for Aegis Learning.  

Time Mastery

Priorities and Focus are Keys to Great Time Management

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein.”  H. Jackson Brown


By Teresa Lowry

How many times have we heard ourselves or others say there aren’t enough hours in the day? We all seem so busy. But being busy does not mean we are productive. We are often absorbed in low level tasks or worse yet nonproductive behavior falling victim to a self-engineered lack of time. However, when we have a plan, know what is important and focus on our priorities it is amazing how much we can accomplish.

IF IT IS NOT ON THE LIST IT WILL NOT GET DONE

Good leaders have a daily plan. Even if the plan is interrupted or we have one of those days where the unexpected takes over there is still significant value in the planning process. Everything needs to go on the daily plan. It all needs to be in one place. Eliminate using multiple systems, choosing instead a single system that is easy to use.

The plan must include tasks, projects, appointments, meetings, notes and other pertinent information for all facets of life. If an event, meeting, or task is not planned prepare for it not to occur. Tip: Perform least favorite task first to avoid procrastination.

BE SINGLE MINDED AND FOCUS

Good time management requires discipline, the creation of good habits and the elimination of bad habits. Patterns of thought and action develop over the course of a lifetime. They impact our quality of life and interactions. Once we become conscious of the patterns we have formed we can revisit them and make new choices. Just as we have power to create patterns of thought and action we have the power to change them.

Time mastery involves adding new habits and dropping nonproductive ones. Identify a few new habits to control and master that would give more time each day to engage in critical leadership activities like coaching, visioning and mentoring. Tip: When the task requires deep concentration alternate your focus in 30-minute increments, shifting to a lighter easier task for a mental break.

ELIMINATE TIME PARASITES

A time parasite is any event or activity that saps productive time. They can be personal, part of the everyday workday, or single events. They sap valuable and productive time. They cause interruptions requiring restarts of thought. They can become habitual and expected. Most are ones we control or are behaviors of others that we have accepted or reinforced or occur due to lack of established boundaries.

The key to managing a time parasite is to identify, diagnose and apply a strategy to it. For every time parasite there is a strategy for reduction or elimination. Some of the common time parasites are meetings, personal calls, correcting other people’ s mistakes, failing to delegate, email and web surfing.

MEA CULPA AND LESSONS LEARNED

I am going to focus on a couple of time parasites that challenged me as new leader. These fall under the adage of when I know better I do better.

Meetings. Personal confession: When I promoted into a leadership role I became responsible for convening and conducting meetings. I naively gave little thought to the art and skill of facilitating management meetings. Just set a time, place, invite people and then talk. Right? Wrong! My meetings were marathon feats of endurance that tested the attention span, patience and bladder of even the heartiest team member. Participants adjourned wondering what had been accomplished. Tips: Keep meetings to an hour. Always have an agenda and defined purpose. At the end recap and review critical items and next steps.

Personal Calls. This time parasite showed up for me under the guise of being a good parent and spouse. Calls from my child that he forgot his lunch, his math homework, his gym uniform. Calls to my spouse: what do you want for dinner, do you have a grocery list for me? A couple of these interruptions each day can add up to over an hour of lost productivity and impacted focus. In hindsight these calls were unnecessary. Leaders set the boundaries for friend and family calls at work. They control whether they respond. Added bonus. Not responding to every challenge your child has created increases the likelihood of their taking responsibility and problem solving. I remember growing up in a house where the rule was that we did not call mom or dad at work unless the house was on fire. There are positive outcomes possible if we stop taking every phone call or text from our children. In addition to increased productivity for the parent there is increased self-reliance for the child. We train our family by the behaviors we accept and the boundaries we set. Let them know that you will make uninterrupted time for them when you get home.

Productive leaders have a daily plan, focus and make good use of time at work. This in turn reduces stress and gives them more hours in the day to engage in high level leadership activities such as mentoring, team engagement, and visioning.

Teresa Lowry is a passionate advocate for learning, growth and generating real organizational change.

Aegis Launches Online Programs

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Becoming a Deliberate Responder

By Matt Zobrist

A deliberate responder is someone who has listened and then intentionally decides what, how and when to respond, avoiding the pitfall of reacting without consideration or reflection. Successful leaders are able to control their emotions and measure their responses, earning respect and trust, and significantly decreasing misunderstandings and overreactions.

Here are 4 steps to help you become a deliberate responder:

1. Learn to pause or delay as needed.

Take a moment to yourself prior to responding. This can be a few seconds or a few minutes. This gives you time to: assess if you understood correctly and have all the information; breath and control your temper or emotions; plan a measured, non-sarcastic response. For highly emotional issues, waiting a few hours or a day, may be more appropriate. A good leader is able to recognize when his or her emotions are triggered and will delay responding until he or she has had a chance to calm down and logically consider all the information.

I once had a team member tell me in confidence that he had witnessed another team member do something dangerous, stupid and against policy. I immediately reacted by summoning this team member and asking him why he did such a bone-headed thing. I was upset that he would make such a mistake, and told him the consequences could have a long-term, career-damaging effect. I could sense his growing fear and confusion in his response. Fortunately, we had a sufficiently trusting relationship, that he overcame his fear and I was able to calm down while we spoke. It then became apparent that the first person did not have all the facts and had actually misinterpreted the situation entirely. Not only did I nearly create a permanent impairment in my team member’s career, but I felt like a real jerk for not calming down and finding out what really happened before reacting.

2. Avoid sarcasm or sarcastic remarks.

While jokes are fun with friends, as a general rule, once you become a supervisor, you should avoid making sarcastic comments to your team. The risk that your sarcasm could be misinterpreted outweighs any intent to be perceived as funny or intelligent. In fact, a sarcastic tone can easily be mistaken for a condescending one. I once received some feedback which indicated that I had a sarcasm problem. My immediate thought was “that’s stupid! Whoever said that doesn’t know what sarcasm is!” But, I put on my big-boy pants and proceeded to validate that feedback. Through asking trusted co-workers and my own self-reflection, I realized that I had the tendency to try and make a quick-witted comment or quip every time someone spoke to me, like I was an actor on a sit-com. These comments were so full of sarcasm that it created the feeling among some of my team that I was just trying to belittle them and show my superiority. I realized my sarcastic tone and impulsive responses were alienating my team and preventing serious dialogue from occurring. With a concerted effort to restrain myself, I was able to control myself and began taking a moment to consider my replies and how I delivered them. This increased the trust and dialogue within my team, improving our morale and productivity.

3. Plan your response and practice your tone.

Planning and rehearsing how you will respond to a specific inquiry or comment will help prevent over-reactions. You were once in your team members’ shoes and should be able to anticipate many of their concerns and questions, (both specific/personal and general/organizational). When one of these issues is brought up, pause and consider the appropriate pre-planned response, adapt it to the current inquiry, then deliver it. Remember this is not a memorized speech, it is simply anticipating what conversations may occur, and preparing how to handle them. As you do this, you increase your ability to not emotionally over-react and to provide a confident response with the appropriate tone.

4. Sincerity: Congruence between your verbals and non-verbals.

As with all communication, your tone and non-verbals need to match your verbal message. Having prepared and practiced responses will go along way to helping you keep your non-verbals in alignment with your words. When your verbals and non-verbals are in alignment, the risk of misinterpretations and misunderstandings decreases dramatically. This congruency also demonstrates sincerity in the communication. When your team knows you are sincere in your responses, trust and loyalty are strengthened.
Becoming a deliberate responder by learning to control your emotions, gather sufficient information and make a calm, confident and sincere response, it not easy. It takes daily effort and practice over time. But using these four principles consistently, any leader can improve his or her skills in this area.

I know it is possible because, as you saw in the examples, this was a weakness for me. Through concerted and focused effort, I became very adept at deliberately responding. Not perfect, but I keep practicing daily and get better all the time. If I can do it, I know anyone can.

Matt Zobrist from Aegis Learning

Matt Zobrist is an energetic and dynamic facilitator, coach, presenter and speaker with Aegis Learning, LLC.

Opening the Listening Channels

Listening Barriers

Tim Schneider, Coach, Speaker, Author and Trainer from Aegis Learning

By Tim Schneider

An overlooked facet of the leadership communication puzzle is the ability to listen effectively. Listening skills, when not properly engaged will result in significant communication and relational disconnects with peers and team members.

The easiest method of improving the listening side of communication is to manage the environment in which listening is performed. If the dialog is important, and not just to you, the environment must be conducive to listening. This means that interruptions and distractions must be significantly reduced or eliminated. If your phone will disrupt an important dialog, silence it. If your cellular phone vibrating will move your attention to who is calling, turn it off for an important conversation. If the traffic by your office distracts your eyes and your attention, move to a more private or less traveled location.

Two important elements to consider about distraction values and listening. First is the time investment of how long it would take you to reconnect with a conversation after distraction compared with managing the distraction in the beginning. Or worse still, how much time will it take to repair the error that you make because you missed important details in the conversation.

The final consideration related to listening distraction is the not-so-subtle message of disrespect. In a conversation, you look down to see who is calling. How does that make the other person in the conversation feel? Are they the most important or is that dependant upon who is calling you on your cell phone? This disrespectful lack of focus on listening will often cause greater dysfunction in a relationship and many times impact future approachability and trust.

Another barrier to effective listening is the concept of assumptive responding. Assumptive responding is providing a response, not based on what you just heard, but rather on what you believed was said. This can be based on the situation or with whom you are having a dialog. Imagine for a moment, a team member has spent the last several days complaining about Ed, their co-worker. The team member asks if you have a moment to talk about Ed. Regardless of what is actually said in that conversation, there is a pretty good chance that your recollection of the dialog will include the team member complaining about Ed.

Those of you that have done what you have done for a living for five or more years are more likely to be candidates of assumptive responding. Having “been there, done that” or “heard it all before” will greatly impact your ability to truly listen compared to assumptive responding. Unlike managing your listening environment, dealing with assumptive responding is a little tougher. The skill is cognitive and requires both an improved focus and a reduction in the time desired to move into response mode. The bottom line is don’t be so anxious to judge the situation and hear something coming out of your mouth.

One additional listening skill is the use of complimentary validation. This is an extraordinary skill that really improves the flow of information while validating the comments of a communication sender. Complimentary validation is providing a compliment when key information is heard or processed in the listening cycle. Many people do this almost naturally or automatically and we often comment about those people that they were great listeners or they were excellent communicators or relationship builders.

In a typical conversation, routine relational dialog occurs. When you ask what someone did this past weekend and the person in dialog responds and says “we sat around and watched the grass grow.” Right behind that comment you will need to add a complimentary statement such as “those relaxing weekends are the best, that is outstanding you were able to do that.” In another conversation, you ask where someone is from and they indicate “Pawtucket.” You fire back a comment about what a great part of the country or pretty city that is Pawtucket.

The purpose of complimentary validation is simple. You are providing the acknowledgement that you were listening and, more importantly, you are providing the communication feedback that you want to hear more and are legitimately interested in the dialog. Using this skill will allow you to obtain far more information from a person than by using more traditional validation methods.

Listening is an important element in leadership communication that must be managed as actively as the rest of the communication cycle. Failure to engage good listening skills can have an adverse reaction in relationship management and the ability to communicate effectively in the future.

Tim Schneider

Tim Schneider is the founder, CEO and lead facilitator for Aegis Learning.  

Recommended Reading-A Book Review

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”   Marcus Tullius Cicero

The Gambler: How Penniless Dropout Kirk Kerkorian Became the Greatest Deal Maker in Capitalist History

Leading Edge from Aegis Learning

Leadership Requires Courage:

  • Courage to Make Decisions
  • Courage to Stretch and Push
  • Courage to Take Risks

“To win without risk is a triumph without glory.”   Pierre Corneille

By Teresa Lowry

I love books and I love to read. As a child weekly trips to the library were greeted with anticipation and delight. Such a place of abundance. All those books. Later, every house I lived in contained bookshelves with stacks of books, read and unread. Bought, borrowed or gifted, each shows up at the right time. There are books on my iPad although nothing can replace the touch and feel of a book in my hands. Cracking the spine, the fresh pages, the anticipation of what’s ahead. About those fresh pages. This won’t last long. Invariably there will be smudges of chocolate on the pages. I also love chocolate.

If I really enjoy a book I want to share it with you. Books educate, entertain, and take us away. My personal favorites are the biographies of great leaders, historical novels, and all things inspirational. I am excited to combine my two passions leadership training and reading, and share with you our Aegis Learning friends, what I’m reading this month.

THE GAMBLER: HOW PENNILESS DROPOUT KIRK KERKORIAN BECAME THE
GREATEST DEAL MAKER IN CAPALIST HISTORY

The Gambler by William C. Rempel is the biography of Kirk Kerkorian the business tycoon and humanitarian. This is the rags-to-riches story of the visionary self-made billionaire who transformed the leisure industry and Las Vegas. Kerkorian exemplified so many of the attributes we teach at Aegis Learning. He was a humble leader. Described time and again as low key and unpretentious he traveled without an entourage. He drove a Ford Taurus and always paid his own way even in his hotels and casinos. He relished his personal anonymity. A generous benefactor, you will not find his name on buildings or statutes. Requesting anonymity was often one of the requirements of accepting a donation or gift from him.

Another key leadership quality was his practice of delegating to his trusted executive team. He relied on the judgment of his key people. Rempel writes that Kerkorian had come to appreciate how much more he could accomplish by delegating management decisions. As delegator in chief Kirk trusted his team to manage the details. That meant no muddied chain of command, no interference from above.

KERKORIAN AS RISK TAKER AND COURAGEOUS LEADER

The key leadership principal that appears time and again when reading about Kerkorian is that he was a fearless risk taker. Three times in twenty-five years he would build the world’s largest resort hotel in Las Vegas. His first record breaker, the International Hotel opened on July 2, 1969. The naysayers and pundits expected a flop. Kerkorian persevered. On a personal note, the progress of the International Hotel was watched closely by my family. My dad, a carpenter, was fortunate to obtain work on the construction of the International. He would come home from the site and regale us with stories about the magnitude of the project and all the fancy amenities. At 30 stories tall we could see the hotel from our nearby neighborhood. Kerkorian went on to break records and build the largest, literally “Grandest” hotels in Las Vegas two more times.

Risk taking, and risk tolerance are important leadership characteristics and skills. Effective leaders must challenge paradigms, confront difficult situations and take risks on a daily basis. Calculated risks. With each action, the leader must determine the desired outcome, identify the potential negative consequences of the action and then choose if the risk justifies the reward.

KNOW WHEN TO HOLD EM, KNOW WHEN TO FOLD EM

Effective leaders understand that all applications for courage need to be considered in a broader and more global perspective. Simply put, there are times to fight and times to keep quiet and acquiesce. Giving ground tactically on a single issue or event is not a sign of weakness. Rather it is a sign that the leader has exercised the good judgment to maintain power and credibility to use courage another day.

As the story goes, Kerkorian waged a tremendous campaign to buy Chrysler Corporation. Rempel reports Kerkorian had one of the most audacious strategies ever floated over Detroit: a buyout that would take the nation’s number three automaker private. The company fought him. Ultimately, he did not get the takeover he had hoped for. One of Kirk’s most enduring and endearing qualities was his limited capacity for grudges. He didn’t collect them. “Its business” he would say and move on.

SO MUCH MORE

I highly recommend The Gambler. Yes, much of the story involves my home city of Las Vegas but there is so much more. Kerkorian’s humble beginnings, years as a World War II pilot and airline owner provide the backdrop for the development of a courageous leader and entrepreneur. His interactions with Howard Hughes, Ted Turner, Lee Iacocca and other visionaries make for a fascinating and educational read.

Teresa Lowry is a passionate advocate for learning, growth and generating real organizational change.