Not sure where here is and it is different for all of you. Here is just the reference to the current point in time and your current condition.
The purpose of this book is to truly unlock the potential that is you. If you can imagine it, dream it, you can make it happen.
We have limitless ability within us but rarely even scratch the surface of those talents, skills, and aptitudes. Every successful person has confronted limiting beliefs and behaviors at one point, and some do this constantly.
But………………you’re happy, healthy, and have everything you want. What do you need to unlock or unblock for?
Much more on that later but I will pose a few questions for you to ponder:
1. Would you value greater happiness or more consistent happiness in your life?
2. Would you appreciate the ability to continue to achieve your success more easily, with less grinding?
3. Would you like to obtain your dream job or perhaps work for yourself?
4. Would you like to be a better role model for others?
5. Would you like to make the lives of those that work for you more satisfying and enjoyable?
6. Would you like higher quality and more meaningful relationships with others?
If there was a yes to any of those, and more likely a few of them, please keep reading.
The other and more subtle purpose of this book is to cause some pause and reflection.
Like many of you, I saw the movie The Sixth Sense a couple of times and then berated myself for not seeing the signs that the Bruce Willis character was already dead. I did the same thing with oranges and The Godfather. Really disappointed with myself that I didn’t see the obvious signs and clues. Hopefully, I didn’t ruin any movie plots for you.
That type of pause and reflection can be healthy and needed for us. It allows us to look back just a bit and say, “why didn’t I?” This should not be a point that you stay fixated upon, but it should be a great and powerful reminder of the impact of limiting and defeating behaviors and attitudes. We can’t stay in this spot of “what if” but it does remind us of the prices paid for the things that hold us back.
And finally, an additional purpose of this writing is to provide you with a tool for self-coach and self-improvement. Not that sitting with me in your office twice a month, or weekly via a virtual meeting isn’t appealing, but this can help you in the absence of some professional coaching.
To borrow Jim Collins’ phrase for a moment; this is about moving from good to great. From satisfied to happy. From working to achieving.
Credit Where Credit is Due
Dr. Marshall Goldsmith is a legend. An icon. The coaches’ coach.
Goldsmith pioneered the work on self-defeating and limiting behaviors with his wildly successful “What Got You Here Will Not Get You There”. This best seller, that was originally published in 2007, is a foundational work that lays out the case to challenge our self-defeating behaviors and confront our ability to change. We have used his work for decades in coaching and training with our customers.
This book does not pretend to expand on Dr. Goldsmith’s work or to add anything to his book. There will be some commonality with some of the behaviors and even some strategy elements.
I will always recommend that you read “What Got You Here Will Not Get You There”.
Backstory
I have been truly blessed during my last 30-plus years of work. I have had and continue to have the best seat in the house to observe human behavior, learning, growth, and limiting actions.
My work has allowed me to interact individually with thousands of people, mostly in a leadership role, and tens of thousands more in group sessions. This perspective has allowed me to identify, analyze, document, and work through a broad spectrum of self-defeating and self-limiting behaviors and those beliefs and attitudes that hold people back from what they could truly become.
The people that we have interacted with and worked with come from every demographic imaginable. They are c-suite leaders, line-level blue-collar employees, emerging leaders, experienced managers, administrative professionals, doctors, and lawyers. Every industry has been touched including hospitality, medical, manufacturing, construction, consumer services, and government. The most interesting categorization however is the degrees of traditionally measured success in which we are proud to call our customers. We have worked with name brand companies, billionaires, millionaires, founders, investors, and those who are successful by any measure.
One common thread that all our participants have in common is that they all have at least one, and more likely several, limiting behaviors or beliefs. That’s right, even billionaires have some defeating and limited behaviors. Even the always-happy yoga instructor has a few. The perfect couple has some. And when people can identify and overcome them, they achieve levels of success and happiness they didn’t realize was possible.
Categorizing people is never fair or accurate, but my experience has also allowed me to identify some populations that relate to individual development coaching and training. These themes will reappear later in the book.
There are those that believe that training and coaching is for the broken and rolled out only when issues exist and there must be a “fix” deployed. Although there are some benefits to this, the global or organizational gains are nominal. Often in these types of environments, the leaders prescribe training for everyone else but not themselves.
Then there are those who seek learning and growth when things are going well, and they are either at an upswing in their career and life or sitting at a pinnacle point and want to see if there is more. These are the people and, ultimately, the places that they work, that are truly successful in the long term. They are also the people that find great joy and happiness in the continual challenge of growth.
Introduction
Limiting behaviors and beliefs are those things that hold us back from being everything that we want to be. They are the obstacles to our true potential and stunt our growth, success, and many times, our happiness.
We all have them. Rich, poor, old, young, end of career, beginning of a career, leader, team member, it doesn’t matter. We all have some of them or many of them. Some are known to us and others are blind spots (known by others but not by ourselves) in our behavior or personality.
When we begin the process of identifying them, gauging, and measuring the impact, and then applying curative actions, we immediately see changes that we desire. As this sounds simple and quick, it is neither. It is easy to understand but much more difficult to fix.
