Confessions of a Rotten Boss

Learning the Lessons of Great Leadership......The Hard Way

“I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better.”

Maya Angelou


By Teresa Lowry

Research tells us one of the top reasons people leave the workplace is they don’t like their boss. Your leader is the most influential person in the organization to you and the people on your team. People don’t usually leave their job for more money. They leave when the boss is disengaged and disconnected. They leave because they have a rotten boss.

My Aegis Learning colleague Polly Walker recently wrote a great article entitled “7 Deadly Signs of a Rotten Boss”. This prompted me to reflect on my early days as a boss. Having been promoted due to technical expertise and not emotional intelligence I certainly had my share of cringe worthy moments. Some of my rotten boss behaviors are listed below. I take comfort now in Maya Angelou’s words “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better I do better.”

OPEN DOOR POLICY IS ENOUGH

There I was in the big corner office adorned with floor to ceiling windows with an administrative assistant acting as guardian at the gate. My door to her adjacent space was open. I could say I had an open-door policy and tell people if they wanted to see me they could come to my office. The onus was on the members of my team. If they had a question or wanted to see me, they knew where to find me.

Fact: Leadership requires us to make frequent, personal contact with team members a priority. Get out of the office and walk around your organization.

WE ARE NOT HERE TO SOCIALIZE OR HAVE FUN

No need to attend social events or be social. This is work. Serious business. I’ll donate money for your parties, sign birthday and retirement cards, maybe send an email to acknowledge your milestone but don’t expect me to attend your parties and socialize because I am busy working. I am a stoic, private person with no desire to tell the people who work for me anything about me or my private life. Nor do I need to know about your personal life. Any need to socialize should be addressed outside of work.

Fact: Leadership requires relationship depth with team members. Successful organizations work hard and have fun. Create an environment where social interaction is valued and encouraged.

A PAYCHECK IS ALL THE REWARD YOU NEED

What is all the fuss about giving praise and positive feedback to people for doing a job they are getting paid to do? You get a paycheck, benefits, your job is stable. What more do you need? Feedback is provided in your yearly evaluation. If you don’t hear from me it means you are doing a good job.

Fact: Pay provided to team members compensates for the lowest minimum requirement of performance and behavior. Leaders can unlock discretionary effort through relationship depth and consistent positive feedback. When delivering positive feedback be direct and insure your tone is upbeat and positive.

TOUGHEN UP

A rotten boss expects you to accept and tolerate moods swings. Team members should not expect predictability. With great responsibility and the weight of the organization on my shoulders I am entitled to be sullen, serious and unapproachable depending on my emotional set point each day. Besides, this keeps people guessing and on their toes. I don’t want them to become too complacent or comfortable. Managing by fear is a good thing and promotes respect.

Fact: Successful leaders have good self-awareness and self-management. Emotional intelligence is far more predictive of workplace success than intellectual capacity. Consistency in behavior and approach is key in providing your team with a leader who is easy to follow. Solicit feedback from team members by asking “What am I projecting?”

One of the reasons I know what we teach at Aegis Learning works is because I learned the hard way what does not work. The rotten boss behaviors described above resulted in disengaged team members and low morale. Thankfully, you dear reader, now know better and can avoid ever being a rotten boss. Lead Well my friends.

Teresa Lowry is a passionate advocate for learning, growth and generating real organizational change.

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Video Library – Toxic Workplaces

What You Project is What You Get

“There is no truth.  There is only perception.”

― Gustave Flaubert

By Polly Walker

Elite athletes and successful leaders have similar thought processes…they use mental models to positively and purposefully enhance performance. You can use mental models (frameworks that you carry in your mind) to impact your own performance, and the performance of those around you.

Here are four of the most powerful thought processes (mental models) that you can cultivate to maximize your effectiveness:

• Hope (believing that something good is going to happen): Focus on events where you were able to successfully handle serious situation in the past and good things that are coming in the future.

• Optimism (confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something): Focus on the positive achievements and things in your life, and expect the best.

• Resilience (the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties): Don’t dwell on things that you can’t do anything about. Focus on those things you can change and what comes next.

• Perseverance (steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success): Recall times that you have overcome personal challenges. Be determined to finish (and finish strong) long after others have given up.

What you PROJECT is often what you GET, so practicing these four mental models (and projecting them outward) can and will have very powerful impact on your outcomes and the outcomes of those around you.

Polly Walker’s areas of focus include leadership development, quality management, customer service, team member engagement and process improvement. She is an engaging and experienced facilitator, team builder, trainer, and change manager. 

Leading Edge – Volume 85 – Our Video Equipment is on a Cruise-Part 1

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Relationships: Where Trust is Built

By Matt Zobrist

I am not an astronomer nor an astrophysicist. I like learning about space, technology and am an avid sci-fi buff. So, I was reading about the fact that scientist have recently reclassified SIMP J01365663+0933473 from a Brown Dwarf Star, to a large planet (about 13 times bigger than Jupiter), even though is not orbiting a star. Stunning, right? You may not care, and I don’t blame you. But here is why I tell that brief, but possibly boring story: When I read it I immediately thought to myself, “I should contact Dr. Armstrong to verify this?”

Doctor Armstrong happens to be someone I knew in high school. He is a PhD, astronomer that I reconnected with over social media. I wasn’t his close friend in high school and we haven’t spoken in person or on the phone, well… ever. So, why was he the first person I felt could call to verify the work of a full research team published in the Astrophysical Journal? Why did I think that if I needed to confirm what I read on astronomy.com and scienedaily.com I should contact an acquaintance from high school to verify it?

The simple answer is this: I have a relationship – however weak – with Dr. Armstrong. As humans, we tend to trust people with whom we have relationships. If I had several astrophysicist friends, I would have to decide who I trusted the most to answer my question. Or ask all of them and see if there was consensus. As it stands, I only have one. Even though our relationship is distant and weak, I would ask him rather than Google it.

This works in all areas of our lives. Buying a car? You ask people you know who drive that one already. Kids need diapers? You talk to someone who already went through that. Looking for a dentist or doctor? You check with friends and co-workers. We inherently have higher trust in information from someone we have a relationship than from other sources.

Because people trust those who they have relationships with, it is paramount as a leader to cultivate honest and open relationships with your team members. They will have an easier time trusting you when they know you. Take opportunities to build relationships with other people by talking to them about their families, their hobbies, and their life outside of work. Be interested in them as people and remember what they tell you. Celebrating their birthdays and special occasions will show that you care about them, not just their performance. PRO TIP: write this stuff down! Very few of us have photographic memories, so take notes. After a while, remembering personal things will become easier.

As you take time and effort to connect with people about non-work-related topics your relationships will grow. As your relationships strengthen, their trust in you will increase. Your role and ability to lead will become clearer and more defined, you will be more effective, and your team more productive.

Here’s a simple trust litmus test is this: Do they ask for your opinion instead of using the internet?

Matt Zobrist from Aegis Learning

Matt Zobrist is an energetic and dynamic facilitator, coach, presenter and speaker with Aegis Learning, LLC.

Leading Edge – Volume 83 – Success Skills: Emails and Meetings